I think I need to go back to driving school because I don't know how to pay the fuck out of attention.

Yet another gruesome reminder that the single most dangerous thing we all do is drive. Pay the fuck out of attention to not only what you are doing, but what everyone else is too.

Times have changed, now players rush to deny that they played for the Mets.

‘Basketball Trump’—-now THAT is something that should be a meme.

I will wait until the ink is dry before I spend my entire summer laughing in the face of every delusional Knicks fan who really thought any of these guys would ever want to play for Basketball Trump and his dysfunctional organization.

Meanwhile, at Madison Square Garden ...

I coach little league baseball and softball. Currently, there is a drastic umpire shortage in our area because this type of behavior has become the norm. It’s not worth the stress and risk of possibly being attacked for $60. These idiots think that a bad call in a little league game is going to cost their kid a…

This probably isn’t even a question. But is there a worst decision than trying to sleep next to your kid? They are 2000 degree pinwheels that make odd noises and twitch nonstop while driving their tiny feet in to your sides.

This is...    way too much information.

How can you criticize a guy who is always pulling for his teammates?

Nope it is needed. I’ve been hit by a ball at a local minor league park twice. The first time it was coming back with ice cream for my son, I was grateful it was nowhere near him, and thankfully I didn’t drop anything - hurt like Hell though. Ironically my son got a foul ball from the same game at our seats - two…

There’s always going to be assholes who want the preserve the “sanctity of the game” and say “PAY ATTENTION TO THE GAME, NOT YOUR PHONE!” who think that having your eyeballs glued to every second of the game will somehow stave off any injury. Meanwhile, outfielders who have trained their entire lives to catch a…

Nope; it should have been done a while ago.

The stadiums are designed to distract you no matter what age you are, even when players are at-bat. Vendors, stuff on the video boards, food and drink...the teams/orgs themselves are doing what they can to keep you from paying full attention.

And nevermind how fucking fast…

Nothing ticks off Niki like struggling to pass someone.

I don’t know if it’s a directive from the editor, or just a case of colleagues adopting each other’s literary styles, but the constant “dunked his soul to hell” and “smacked the ball to the goddamned moon” shit is fucking exhausting and not remotely funny anymore.

You guys are trying WAY too hard at this point.

When Tiger Woods won last month at Augusta, all the talking heads were saying it was the “greatest comeback in the history of sports”. The first I thought of was Niki. It will be a very long time if ever before we see someone go from last rights to the grid in six weeks to World Champion in a year.  Heroic stuff.

Are you my father stalking me on the internet? 

Those pigeons were talkin shit.

Guys, I've found the pigeon.