Jesus H. Christ, you missed the point. All you needed to do was stop writing after "three days." Also, the author owned up to his mistake and took responsibility for it quite explicitly. If you have a problem with that, go comment on that article, not this one.

It pales next to this story but it's an interesting sidebar to read Jalopnik's Patrick George and his experience with traffic law enforcement in Virginia. http://jalopnik.com/never-speed-in…

KNOB JOCKEY PULLS UP LAME

I first thought it might be either Jeter's ball-lickers or Oscar Pistorius's bathroom door, but I'm going to go with Roger Goodell's Dartboard of Justice.

I guess Goodell wants Raiola's kid dead. Must be his first-born.

How much for a starlet with a good attitude?

I think it's actually more of a taunting/showboating issue. Thanks, NCAA!

Did he find Nemo?

Porsche 911. It's working.

Choke mor chikin.

How did they end up at that high school football game?

It's rare to see a preseason game this late in the year.

On the Seventh Day Arrested.

Good info. Thanks.

Agreed, but if he were driving a big sedan, he'd probably be at the stadium right now bitching to the trainer about his fender bender. I wouldn't be surprised if Cam was well over the speed limit if reports of four rollovers are accurate.

The other car is barely damaged, considering the size of Newton's truck. Looks like the car pulled in front of Newton, causing Newton to roll over. Can't tell who's at fault without knowing more. Agree about the brodozer for exactly this reason.

33. The game doesn't end until someone gets hurt.

Twice-baked's. Have them ready to go and then just pop them in the oven.

I'm going to suggest turkey.

Last question: why do people who know nothing about football feel obligated to say stuff that they think sounds football-y? Yes, I have an ex-father-in-law.