What a time to forget that my phone was still paired with my Bluetooth speakers. Jesus, I thought the gates of hell were opening up.

You sure about that?

Really impressed with how much hate mail Lauren has gotten in such a short time, she’s one to keep an eye on.

“...improv-based free-range comedy troupe.”

Pre-existing injury? You mean like playing in the NFL?

Little known fact: Lake Independence was known as French Lake until 2003.

The other guy was wearing a shirt? I didn’t see it.

This seems like something that would happen in Canada.

And the always come right back to you.

I love how Sony goes through the door effortlessly without it touching lol. 

Here’s a better fake punch illustrating what Xbox feels like right now, it’s even color correct.

Pfffft... Lightweight...

As opposed to 4 cups of coffee each with enough milk/cream/half&half to make a tall glass of milk? Is that adult enough?

Herring is only food during wartime

I didn’t know there were milk truthers.

Thanks, guys.

“Hey Eli, go get your fuckin shine box.” - Coach McAdoo

“You can try movin on all you want. He’s gonna find yah. Back in 83', Olivia and I packed up Peyton and Coop, in the middle of the night, and hightailed it up to Minneapolis. 9 days later, we are awoken by a horrible shriek downstairs. I kid you not, we find Eli stuck, one arm and one leg through the doggie door,…

I’m guessing those Blue Lives Matters assholes are going to be conflicted as all hell. On the one hand, they’re going to argue that the drunk chick had it coming. On the other, black guy. Truly a Sophie’s choice situation for them.