As a person who is cheap, and who hates to shop but always has to attend events that require an “appropriate” little black dress (which I generally resent buying), I LOVE this idea.

She was born wealthy, beautiful, with a slender body society deems ideal, and is also an heir to Hollywood royalty. I would find Kate Hudson demotivating if I were trying to lose weight/get healthy and feeling insecure about myself (Sorry Kate Hudson! I know this is probably a lucrative contract for you.).

It’s not his fault. As a member of the undead, Steven has no reflection and therefore he has no way of knowing how ridiculous he looks in that spray on hair.

And then he’ll have some sushi made out of human children.

At least now we know who the idiot that buys spray on hair is.

In her defense, I imagine that once you’re famous it’s hard to do anything else besides milking what you can out of your public persona. Who’s going to hire “Octomom”, and all the baggage that comes with the title?

Daaaaaamnnn. Is your mom Joan Crawford or something?

Your nephew is lucky then!

Don’t do it! Ikea’s black magic is strong but you must be stronger!

Yup. He’s fulfilling the prophecy his face tattoos foretold.

By “the Catholic government” do you mean the Vatican? When was the last time we had a female pope ruling over Vatican City?

proposing outside the Times Square Olive Garden

You’re kidding yourself if you think Christians aren’t just as oppressive and backwards. You’ll find misogyny anywhere you find males of the species, which is everywhere.

More little boys who need to grow up and take responsibility for their own boners rather than projecting their frustrations onto others.

While reading your story I couldn’t help but imagine your landlady as Jerri from Strangers With Candy.

These days I’m a fierce battle worn general when it comes to these things. Back then we were such naive kids, which probably made us excellent targets.

“the last guy looked up some really rough stuff.”

I once lived in an apartment owned by a notorious slumlord. There was a leak from one or more of the apartments upstairs, and rather then paying to fix their plumbing he would simply replace the ceiling sheetrock when it soaked through every couple of months. Eventually, it would get so wet that the ceiling would…

I think it was a perfect portrait of who Trump is on the inside.

I think you may not understand how dark the “Soros” conspiracy theory hole is.