I’m sorry, but who among us would not fuck Harrison Ford, especially Han Solo-Harrison Ford? It is for this reason (as well as murder Hitler when he was just a shitty art student, and someone else I won’t mention in case the Feds are watching) I would build a fucking time machine. To fuck Han Solo/Raiders of the Lost…

Came here for this!

We’re required. It’s in the contract.

Fuck you for making me look this up.

It isn’t French because it’s inspired by French cooking, it’s called that because this is what you make when you surrender unconditionally to life.

Lol, I am positive this recipe calls for iceberg, never bibb.

Rebrand this as the Banana Peanut Cleanse and you might have a fitness empire on your hands.

• 6 bananas
  

I like bananas. I like peanuts. I have no feelings about lettuce (does anybody have feelings about lettuce?) I really hate mayonnaise. This is a ridiculous recipe.

The only redeeming part about banana is it can be made into banana bread after they turn black and die.

Candlestick salad, or candy dick salad?

From henceforth Joan Crawford shall be known to me as good ‘ole icebox.

OMG. My mom has been talking about lettuce, mayo, peanut butter and toasted bread sandwiches forever. She says that her grandmother made them for her as a kid (though no one else in her family remembers this) and now I feel like this gives her some level of vindication because it’s possible she didn’t just make them…

The first thing you need to know about Joan Crawford’s French Banana Salad is that it’s neither French nor a salad, but rather a hideous gathering of incompatible foods that appear to have been grabbed blindly from the worst-stocked icebox in 1920's Los Angeles.

I’m horrified.

Remember, just as dress sizes used to be different, they used a different kind of banana in the old days so the taste might not be the same. Still terrible, but not the same.

Y’all ‘bout to get haunted.

Maybe it was served as punishment for bringing wire hangers into the home?