Typical mail behavior.

Wow, UC Santa Cruz changed in the 10-ish years between us, Anna, if those guys didn’t get shouted off campus. In my day, the fledgling fraternity only showed up on campus to do some weird fundraiser on the big teeter-totter at the east entrance.

Man, is that where I am? I thought this was the post office. I’ve been waiting to mail this goddamn package for like... nine months! This place has TERRIBLE service.

“Our motives were not to insult or look down on anyone, not to be sexist,”

Oh honey, no. We just think they’re dumb and we’re going to have a great, great Tuesday morning making jokes. Thanks for clickin’!

This should be a bingo game, complete with squares for “good Christian” and “have a sense of humour”

I think it’s time for me to make another donation to Planned Parenthood, but I can’t decide if I should do it in honor of Anna Duggar’s Brother, Closeted Bradley Cooper, or Mel Gibson’s Cunt Mouth.

It’s amazing how incest and the molestation of FIVE girls was no problem, but adultery, THIS is where they draw the line.

In all seriousness if my mother had seen something like this while taking me to move-in day at college ANY year, she would have pulled the car around in a heartbeat. I can’t imagine how sickening seeing something like this would be for a parent, which is why I suspect this won’t just be swept under the rug - I suspect…

If anything, they’re both Regina George, and Miley Cyrus is Janis Ian.

You are not alone. I am also in the Husband-Does-Random-Chores club. I don’t think he realizes it at all, but it’s still awkward to be like, “Honey, do you think you could stop caulking the shower and maybe just vaccum the living room before your parents arrive for dinner?”

I literally said to my wife yesterday, “Taylor Swift collects ‘friends’ like kids collect Pokémon.” She stared at me, shook her head, and asked, “How proud of yourself are you right now?”

Taking care of an infant with a nanny and a maid may be luxurious, but it’s still not free time. This woman does have a full time job after all. And I mean, cmon, way to skip the entire central part of my argument that was both partners need to be able to ask for and grant free time in order to be good parents and…

The beauty of this is, Taylor is playing herself out.

True, cross her and there will be hell to tay.

There’s something distasteful about how she will bring on stage ANY celebrity. As if being famous is something to be applauded in itself. Bringing singers on sure, I mean Uzo Aduba makes “White Horse” sound much better so why not. But Matt LeBlance? Julia Roberts? Chris Rock? Kobe Bryant (really feminist Taylor…

Lolwtf Kobe? Next show is Michael Vick is guess?

Didn’t we establish that the minimum balance on a starbucks card is $5? *Checks* Yes, yes we did.