WHY THE SWAN GOTTA BE BLACK?!?!?!

These guys are so good at what they do that I physically cringe at how awkward it can get on their skits. Which is amazing, because I actually forget its two friends/artists doing a skit and get into the characters they’re pulling off. Anyone who can create a character and the dynamics around them in the short amount…

Today, I am proud to share my middle name with murdered sex workers.

eating a salad as a full meal is like eating whispers

Whoa. Consistent theme of integrating fat shaming with animal rights. Why??

This is why I get frustrated with vegans who insist on only feeding their pets vegan food. That is not meeting a dog’s nutritional needs! Dogs and cats do not understand the ethical implications of meat eating and forcing them to eat sprouts is not ethical treatment.

Yeah. It’s a shame they’re the most visible organization championing causes like this and, say, putting an end to factory farming, as those are both very worthy causes that would probably have more momentum if PETA wasn’t actively campaigning to alienate reasonable people with their other stunts.

To me (maybe you don’t agree) Hannibal is so innately likable and chill, that even when he is trolling hard, he’s still adorable.

Not a moment’s hesitation.

I would have sold the car. Yeck!

Grizzlies?? Fuckkkkk man. I wouldn’t even try that with a timid black bear, let alone a grizzly. People are stupid.

Here’s a few;

That actually might be a good thing. When Teddy Roosevelt went third party, he split the republican party votes in half. (Political parties are so fucking stupid) That in turn prety much gave a landslide victory to the democratic candidate, I think it was Woodrow Wilson.

I’m still partial to “short-fingered vulgarian.” In terms of Gawker Media gems, Read (PBUH) called him a “human candy corn” and Jim Newell called him a “gelatinous cartoon slumlord.”

Toxicity did not cause this death.

Seriously. And it takes awhile for that stuff to kick in too. You’re not going to feel it immediately the way you do when you smoke/vape it. That’s where people get into trouble with edibles, and then wig out because how were they supposed to know they shouldn’t have eaten half of the pan of brownies?

This: People who are selling you a product never tell you to use *less* of it than necessary.

pro-tip: one someone tells you to take one piece of an edible, eat one fucking piece. THEY ARE NOT TRYING TO TRICK YOU

Dosage is what makes something toxic. Period.