Damn. Read this too late.

Against the will of the voters? o_O

One of my earlier memories is sitting in the back of my dad’s pea-green Monte Carlo with our brand-new new puppy (named J.R., hello 80s) and him barfing all over my lap.

MMmm. That was delicious.

I had to spit because I salivated so much at this prospect.

Came here to say this. Canned peas? WHY? Just ... why?

Yeah. They’re practically a tourism industry there. You should try the Amish in rural Indiana and Ohio. For a time, I lived across the road (and a field) from an Amish family. I was allowed to play with the girls, but the not the boys.

What song could that possibly be???

Welp. There goes my social life.

Damn. I guess I should be grateful I live in New York City. Had my abortion in a doctor’s office within New York Presbyterian hospital. No pickets, not protestors, just a chill receptionist who calmly explained that yes, it would be covered by my insurance. As a girl from a Midwestern bible state, I about cried with…

My BFF is an ER nurse. She says all of her colleagues, the best ones anyway, are all cold, hard bitches (including herself). It takes that kind of person to be able to stay calm and keep focused in a life-or-death emergency situations. Bitches not only get shit done, but they’ll save your ass.

No problem. It’s not like you made or bought the darn thing. Can’t hate you for trying to get rid of it.

As someone who works at a firm that helps companies like Chanel enforce their IP rights, I’d say your best best is a yard sale or by word of mouth among your network. I mean, you could try to sell on one of the new quick mobile sale apps. If you make it past their screening, it’s not super likely that a company will…

Ah. That makes more sense. I mean, no. It doesn’t, it’s fucking crazy and terrible. But, yeah.

Unless you’re sneaking it into a nightclub prior to shooting 100 people, killing half of them. :/ That part of the story still boggles my mind.

I’m with you. These people are creepy as fuck. Whether or not they do it from a sexual motivation, I sure as hell am not changing a grown man’s diapers. Fucking gross. And for the people who do it for the kink faction, sure, I guess they’re not hurting anyone, but we’re allowed to hold a negative opinion of people who…

I think I’m gonna knit her baby a blanket. Damn, I love this woman.

Wow. The “P-Cock Went Hunting.” Just wow.

Wait, I thought Courtney and Doug got divorced? Did I dream that?

Yeah, I want to know too. I never read this, and I’m too afraid to google that at work. The guy’s a total scumbag but I never got a whiff of that before.