Did people call him King Lear in his heyday? If not, that seems like a missed opportunity.

FUGAZI!

"The head of the Boy Scouts called me and said my speech was the best ever" might be the single lamest lie ever told by a member of our species.

No There Isn't, Internet! That Is Neither True of All Adaptations (Because Sometimes the Source Material Largely Sucks but There's Some Good Stuff There and That's Why Someone Wants to Adapt It) Nor Adequate Advice When It Is True, Internet!

At the end of the first movie, where they choose who wins the dog-custody battle by having the kid and the evil clown who was the former owner both call the dog and whichever he runs to first wins, and eventually the evil clown takes out a newspaper to threaten the dog with and the dog runs at him, rips up the paper…

And every time he says "The New Yorker" it's dubbed over with "Hudson Magazine."

If this is him staging a live suicide, I'm going to regret some of my jokes over the last couple of weeks. Not all, but some.

They might as well have called this Four White Actresses.

It's impossible to imagine any other country coddling the memory of a failed rebellion the way this one does. The U.K. has a whole holiday based around pretending to kill Guy Fawkes again, and that was four hundred years ago and NOT ABOUT SLAVERY.

Oh, but I read he loves dogs.

Joe Arpaio's been convicted of contempt of court! As if the law also applies to cops or something!

I'm seein' double! Four standards!

You mean Tonya Lohengrin?

Entourage isn't even on anymore. Where's he going to go?

Jeez, it's like a King's Landing crowd in here!

Aaand Anthony Scaramucci is out as communications director. Valar morghulis.

I don't know, of all animals on the show I think Melisandre's leeches are the most phlebotomy.

We saw Olenna die.

I live in the vast suburban wasteland of southeastern Massachusetts and there's a house on a corner that has (very handsome) chickens just wandering in the unfenced front yard seemingly 24/7. My sister hit one of them once, but for the most part they seem to stay out of the intersection.

There are many more chickens in the world than people. What we have to do at all costs is keep climate change a secret from them, or they'll finally decide we're not worth keeping around and before you know it it's Animal Farm.