When Martin Skrtel is done with the World Cup, there is a role in the next Terminator movie waiting for him.

The baboons would've broken into France's locker room and stolen their dignity, but were disappointed to find out it was gone before the World Cup even started.

I can watch this, even with the how-can-you-be so-goddamn-perky-ness of Hannah Storm.

WOW!!

Memo to Jozy Altidore: you'e not at Hull City anymore. Stop playing like you still are.

That's the design for the new Yankee Stadium, before they added the space in the clubhouse for A-Rod's mirror.

You can put the new Cavs logo on a towel, so Delonte West can wipe off after a marathon Kama Sutra session with Gloria James.

HEY PAU, LET'S MAKE FUN OF THE CHINESE

Esera Tuaolo welcomes someone who would stick something long and needle-like in his butt.

I was assuming that since one of the kids had a West Virginia shirt on, that they each would've already fucked their own mothers numerous times.

A quasi-erotic moment between golfers: something for both the kids and the elderly.

"You people still think I'm the only one who dives?"

If she was a stripper, she might've peaked A-Rod's interest.

Yes, Mr. Domenech, the perfect solution for a player who doesn't want to be around you is to send him home.

A great man, and a great humanitarian. R.I.P. Manute Bol.

"Show me on the doll where Knute Rockne's ghost tried to touch you."

Connecting the Obama administration to a third-world country like Mali? I think we just found the next guest on the Glenn Beck Show.

And here I thought Timbuktu was the place where my mother threatened to smack me to when I misbehaved.

Do we also get Peggy Noonan and her Barbara Walters 20/20-esque posts?

The way that baby was scooting around, you'd think it was scurrying away from a John Terry sexual advance.