I'm still grieving Leonard Nimoy, whom I mourned more than members of my own family.

I’m just sitting here frowning, softly singing Raspberry Beret under my breath and willing myself not to cry cause HE BEST NOT BE FUCKIN DEAD

Ah... so it’s “satire” in the way that an axe to the head is brain surgery.

Yeah, I don’t see the “satire.” This is literally what the dominant culture thinks (white) women are like, and what a (white) woman-ruled world would function as. Ho-ho-ho, women don’t like fucking. Ho-ho-ho, manhaters and menicide, or whatever. Ho-ho-ho, dolphins and waves and the moon or some shit.

I have a 4 year old daughter who alternates between being Cat Princess and wanting to be a sandwich when she grows up. I hope that I’m doing the mom thing right and she’ll eschew wedding themed Pinterest boards!

...so, are you a pedophile, or just trying to impress us with how deeply “Japanese” your refined sensibilities are? Either way you’re insufferable and should probably be on some kind of watchlist.

The grossest thing your body has ever done is eat a 1 lb bag of black twizzlers.

I feel like I can’t compete with the writer’s story, but for me it was a period/virus combo. I had clots the size of guinea pigs dropping out of my vagina as I sat shaking on the toilet shitting my brains out while throwing up into a trashcan.

I’d say Goldfinch

*please pull through*

I love these videos, but why the heck would you want to peel a kiwi? The skin is where the flavour is, without that it would be the most boring fruit ever (except for the crackling pits. Love those.)

If he’s the one who’s speechless, he’s using it wrong.

“Schmuck Sandal in Napa Leather with Pom Poms” DONE.

A better way to put it: existing language making oral and anal sex illegal might stay on the books, because nobody wants to fight about it, because it would get messy.

Not following through.

And now she sells jewelry that looks like butts.

Uhhh, isn't emotional distress part of the job description when you decided to become a police officer? It is literally your job to handle distressing situations. It's also the defense apologetics use when explaining why it's okay for you to kill unarmed civilians. This is an extra step of awful.

Yes; “flopped-over traffic cone” and “ambulatory merkin” are conspicuously absent...

* Puts toothpaste right next to bed after 2 days. *

I have issues even with the self-defense part of that. Teenagers have a bad habit pairing a dangerous overestimate of ability with an astounding underestimation of risk. I’m convinced whoever actually coined the phrase, “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing” was observing teenagers when they did so.