True. How else would he have ok’d “Picture Me Rollin’” as Simmons’ podcast theme song?

My 18-month old likes to put a dish rag over her head and then walk into a wall.

That Donald Trump’s presidential campaign is a false flag designed to allow Hillary to coast into the White House.

Using Chapstick causes you to need Chapstick more, so that you need to keep buying it. Why else would I be addicted?!

Tony Romo is an elite quarterback.

Crack was invented and distributed with deliberate governmental acquiescence if not outright assistance.

TOM BRADY DEFLATED THE FOOTBALLS AND PEYTON MANNING DID PEDS AND RUSSELL WILSON HAS NEVER HAD SEX AND CAM NEWTON STILL HAS THAT FUCKING LAPTOP SOMEWHERE AND ANDY REID IS ACTUALLY TWO ANDY REIDS WEARING AN ANDY REID SKIN SUIT AND BRUCE ARIANS AND SAMUEL L. JACKSON GO HAT SHOPPING TOGETHER AND TIM TEBOW IS BEING…