Eggnog in the daylight, and Bailey’s after dark. With a straw, that leads to dual tanks on my back. At noon, I roll over briefly to tank up.

Or, you know... pottery.

I’m guessing “I’m new to that internet thingy” translates roughly to, “Please don’t research me and find out I have an ignorant, outspoken, messy, well-documented online persona that would make 4chan blush.”

Yup. My mom has a pre-lit tree, and it’s on Year Two, after eleven months spent in her storage locker. So last week she texted me this photo, along with the message: “still pretty, even with that section not lit.”

C’mon, how is that any different than that self-involved has-been Jimmy Carter negotiating hostage releases and building homes for the poor?

I live in Minneapolis, and I keep pairs of cheap gloves and scarves in my bag that I force on homeless people and panhandlers downtown, as I leave work. Almost always get yelled at by them, in the process, for not wearing a hat.

“Brendan Fraser is a former frozen caveman.”

Is the greenhouse attached to the main house? Because I don’t want to have to walk outside. That’s a real deal-breaker for me.

“Oh, I don’t care for the wall color in here, at all...”

Why is she hitting drywall with a hammer, seemingly at random? What outcome is she hoping for?

“Don’t get too close to plants! They will steal the oxygen right out of your lungs.”

For...?

Well, to have empathy risks vulnerability. And once you have something, anything, real or imagined- an advantage, luxuries, status- you begin to worry about losing it. But if you can’t even name the thing that provides you comfort, if it’s a thing that’s invisible and nameless, but one you’ve never had to question…

This is an excerpt from a short story I recently read: the story is about the complex relationship between a white woman of the south, in the nineteen-fifties, and her domestic help (Jane and Carrie.) It sums up blind white privilege in a way that is startling. I had to transcribe it from a screen grab, so please…

I think he looks like a mean, demented astronaut.