Do they like, actually wheel the aliens in, or is it just a VHS video? Is that when they find out about the big asteroid heading for Earth, too? And that Tupac and Olivia Newton John’s husband are still alive? That must be a rough day. I hope the chef makes pudding that day.

(Replied to the wrong comment. Sorry.)

I think they were thinking of Jason Bourne, and Franke Potente.

For some reason I want to see, “AHAHAHAHAHA, get it, Catherine Hicks” colorfully cross-stitched.

Those are all beautiful, but the hollyhocks are especially gorgeous. Please, let me know if you ever want to do any custom work. I’ve searched etsy, specifically for paper hollyhocks, because my crazy-gardening mom in her seventies sold her house and moved into an apartment, and misses her hollyhocks most of all. She…

Page Six is doing such a great job covering this story, though. Actual sentence, from the link above:

I am home sick, and my cat won’t leave my side.

Pity everyone at my place of employment tomorrow, because I am cornering each of them, one at a time, and inflicting this joke on them. I LOVE THIS JOKE

They did voice analysis on the 911 call with new technology which I don’t think was done before. 

Miles Teller has negative integer charisma.

Well, you can, but it just makes the neighbors roll their eyes and clutch their children closer. And still no poop.

You need to set up a booth, somewhere highly visible.

My new line of t-shirts:

He was.

It was followed up by oversized confetti. We looked like terry cloth by the time it was over. (I was there because it was a birthday present for my niece, and I wasn't a fan, but it was an astounding concert. Incredible art direction, elaborate production values, and she had a very powerful girl-power message. It was…

Awwww. I used to have a turkey gravy and mashed potatoes-colored cat. I miss him. Yours is lovely.

I was in the pit for one of her concerts, and she looked me directly in the eye, sprayed me in the face with a foam cannon, and cackled.

I can never have anything nice.

Not even my pizza.

If you tell my mother how to do any of this, I will kill you dead.