But when is he actually gonna show off his goods? Because I would still hit it, along with nearly every other 80s celebrity crush I had (except the weird ones, like when I pretended I was married to Alf).

I used to teach at an elementary school that housed a “life skills” pod (which was rotated amongst district schools every three years based on the district population). Those parents couldn’t even be part of their “school culture” if they wanted to for their students tenure. My school happened to be in one of the…

Hence the “not a cat, but still relevant” preface . . . :-)

You know, I can't remember — but it's been over 20 years. It was within 30 minutes of Sparta, NJ if that's any help . . . ?

The biggest mystery is what mythical breed of dog is this that is able to step in the brownies, but doesn't eat them? If my pug was able to access any form of baked goods I guarantee there would be no evidence of this kind left, and I'd be stuck with a hefty vet bill.

I used to get sent to a day camp in the summer when I was roughly 8 - 10. This was somewhere in northern New Jersey, and had for years been a big Girl Scout camp, but had eventually become too run down for overnight stays. There was a fire tower that had burned, leaving skeletal, charred remains and a train had…

There is a woman at my work who apparently has a goddamn party every time she goes in the stall since it is always strewn with bits of toilet paper and those flushable seat liners after she leaves (which imo, are gross and wasteful anyway — just wipe the seat with some toilet paper and sit your buns down!)

Not a cat, but still relevant:

Ah yes, the best possible use of “the troops.” I wonder where all of the money will come from to build the military back up to those levels to where there will be soldiers guarding medical facilities as well as fighting in overseas conflicts? I’m going to go ahead and guess “drastic cuts to social services and…

Bedbugs, it’s always bedbugs, followed by cancer, an audit at work, MY DOG MIGHT BE SICK (or at least sad), supervolcano, “is my house on fire right now?”

As one who works for a (public, state-funded) university, I still have no idea why this doesn’t fall under Title IX coverage. We spend so much money and time on investigating sexual assault cases; yet some universities can get away with providing free condoms but birth control breaks the bank?? No one in admin at my…

I hear you! I hate that men get to legislate ANYTHING about women’s bodies. I mean, our local representative recently spoke out against providing medical care by Internet — which is a big deal in N Idaho, as many people live in super remote places and could easily get shut in due to weather — because he thought it…

We need to hit up a Rite-Aid together ASAP please

I love it too, and recently had run out on a business trip to a really small town, so my options were limited (as in, what I could purchase at the only very small, locally-owned grocery store in town). I figured I would make the best of it, and was dismayed when I could only find Wet ‘n’ Wild brand. Ugh, am I 11 again?

I initially felt petty for noticing this, but after realizing it might be from wearing too many diamond-encrusted earrings, I don’t feel bad about saying that Ivana has some seriously saggy earlobes.

Six days ago, I experienced a 26-hour flight delay with a group of 15 teenagers headed to Space Camp. So I guess my worst thing is seeing 15 sad teenage faces when I explain we will be an entire day late and spending the whole time in airports since our re-routing required a red eye flight. It was compounded because…

One of my (shameful) hobbies is occasionally trolling the internet comments section of my local newspaper. I live in N Idaho, which is where many of these wealthy, batshit Californians retire, so antivax rhetoric used to be a pretty common theme in letters to the editor. It got so bad eventually that the newspaper…

The only way I get things done is to make a “mental deal” with myself that if I finish everything early in the day, I can be a lazy bum the rest of the day and do whatever I want.

Too bad we’re roughly 2000 miles apart!

Great idea! In the same vein, I wish we had some type way to just meet new friends in our local areas. Part of the reason I spend so much time on Jez is because it’s really hard to meet new friends in your early 30s. I’ve moved around a lot since my spouse is military, so I haven’t had lots of opportunities to make…