meh

This is the stupidest fucking question I’ve read so far in the column. And that’s saying a lot considering last time out there was someone fussing over 20% of 8-10% of a meal cost.

Improve almost any dish with MSG. 

‘bout fooking time

This is why I don’t feel that good about people saving horses (live ones on four legs or Mustangs on four wheels). I mean there are people, human beings, out there that need help evacuating. Maybe we should prioritize them.

Mini black holes incoming...

This guy oughta be sentenced to be literally swatted by a thousand fly swatters. 

OK so I’m getting one for lunch today and shall report back.

Darwinism.

Shoulda put pads back on and go to town.

r.i.p.

Yes. Leave.

Honestly didn’t know that ramen had this much salt in it, even though I always found it salty in general, but especially at Totto here in NYC.

Maybe y’all should stop writing about the duck, which at this point is only feeding this stupid duck frenzy. 

Not paying accused execs tens of millions of dollars on their way out would be a good start.

Honestly don’t understand why they needed to be transferred to Chad to begin with. Just can’t leave well enough alone I guess? 

Snitches get stitches. 

Breaking news, almost all shrimps you can buy are pre-frozen. Unless you live right next to the sea, in which case why would you go to Red Lobster to begin with. 

Aw fuck, another time zone in the country to keep track of. Why can’t we even keep the relative times in this country consistent? 

Or your weekly Tuesday night Chopped marathon.