So at what point does Witten start calling him FitzTragic? 

Unless you cannot buzz someone into the building from your apartment and have to physically go to the door to let them in, a delivery person not willing to complete the transaction at the apartment door is automatically forfeiting a sizable chunk of their tip.  

‘that the Dolphins are in first place (of the entire league, apparently?)’

You know the new models are short on features when they somewhat arbitrarily decided that an entirely software-based adjustment be exclusive for the new release.

Re: Serving dumpling in broth,

-‘Hey Siri, why do the colors on my phone screen look off after upgrading to iOS 12?’

I don’t disagree with the nature of the 50-50 challenge or the fact that he got (soccer) ball first. But dangerous follow-through in getting the other balls is dangerous and keepers have always been given more protection in the box (you know, how keeper goes up to gather or punch a cross and gets challenged/bumped…

So I guess it’s perfectly ok to stomp the opposing keeper in the nuts then? Play on, nothing to see here.

I’m all for better categorization/characterization of hurricanes, but if you are going to expose the inadequacies of current scales, at least propose some other factor as an alternative. Levels of storm surge seems like the center of your argument, but is it good for warning people of potential danger? Wind speed is a…

Oh man I’d hate to be your patient. 

Tennis

People trick themselves into thinking monthly payments of $60 over two years is cheaper than forking out $1000 up front. 

3.5-hour battery life and $300 price tag?! That’s a hard pass for me.

Let’s be honest you can get a bottle of Dasani for $3 at the airport no problem. And that’s simply not enough money for me to risk tempting fate with a TSA agent who’s possibly having a bad day.

You’d probably end up in a dark room trembling in the cold after a body cavity search.

Make fun of the size of my hand if you must, but I was already reaching quite a bit for the corners with the 6+/7+. I’d have to physically detach my thumb from the socket to hit that upper left corner with this new screen.

While we are being pedantic, I challenge you to find any food that’s inorganic. I’ll wait. 

Free guac coupon or gtfo. 

I pity such fools (assuming they are purely trolling) who would attempt to take on Apple with frivolous litigation only to get a drawn out lawsuit and drowned in legal fees. But seriously though, I’m sure the legal talk in the fine print is airtight in anticipation of these situations. 

No tennis game demo on the amazing new iPhone Xs?