She also ignored Harry Styles..

man i think i just had a billion orgasms at the thought of sending a dude to jail for telling me to smile yassssssssssss

There's a rumor that Mayer has been attempting to woo her ever since they flirted at Medieval Times in 2012!!!! Which is my favorite celebrity gossip story for obvious reasons (Medieval Times)

THERE ARE FIVE PEOPLE WHO COULD GET SEX FROM ME AT A ONE DIRECTION SHOW

I remember the similarly lewd shit that Legs McNeil and the Rolling Stone boys' club used to write about my teenybopper Duran-Duran-freak contemporaries back in the 80s... Like we were a smorgasbord of jailbait T&A just there for their leering pleasure. It made me feel all ugh-sticky and SO creeped-out to learn that…

oh shit, read more deeply and he threw shade at my tay tay? it's like the devil made this man to be my literal arch enemy.

This is exactly the kind of bi-erasure that makes women afraid to talk about their sexuality.

NO HE PUT HIS HAND ON MY CEILING HIS GROSS HANDPRINT IS STLL THERE IDK HOW TO GET IT OFF???

or, as the guy would have liked you to say, a big ass-bullet.

I just have to disagree. Of course there are always exceptions, but for the most part, these people want to be the best at their jobs, to be at the top of their fields, to be recognized for their hard work and accomplishments, and to be compensated for their efforts, the same way that athletes, or business-people, or…

I would be remiss if I did not point out how amazing this guy is for being such a good wingman for his fish. You don't want to date him? Fine. He's got 23 fish to introduce to you. They are tropical as fuck and ready to mingle. No hard feelings.

But now that he's an ex for both of them, shouldn't they bond over their mutual hatred of him? Fighting over him now is an odd move. This is not how Lifetime Movies prepared me for life.

I was going to post a silly gif, but tears started streaming down my face. THANK YOU SO MUCH, JOE. Sometimes the years of war against women just fucking wears you down, so when you hear this so plainly by someone so amazing, it just blows you away.

No.

I think VICE actually put out the best article about this whole Fappening issue:

I also do not take part.

Done and done. Thank's Erin!

Unrelated, anyone want to hangout tonight at the graveyard? I'm feeling... thirsty.

Lindy, I'm sure you won't see this because god knows if I were you I wouldn't wade into the comments section ever, but just know that I love you, love your work, and really credit you with explaining shit in really effective terms to me, someone who was very much a novice on everything when she started reading Jez.…

Funny until the cheap gender gag. How about stop pulling that shit, Conan.

That is some righteous kindness on Taylor's part. Goddamn. Serving up love like it's cherry pie and making sure everybody gets a big ol' slice. Fuck me if that isn't lovely.