I take back my previous statement now that I think about it. The way I feel about Warren now is the way I felt about Obama when he first came on the scene. Nothing would break my heart more then to see the presidency slowly morph her into a callous sociopath. At least with Clinton we already know we're getting a…

Oh don't get me wrong. I fully understand Obama was the lesser of two evils in both elections, but I can't help but think this is not the person I voted for. It's moments like this I wish Elizabeth Warren would stop messing around and run for president already. 16 years of demagoguery is more than enough.

This has to be about the tenth time I've heard of such an incident.

To be fair, the term "big sister" is misleading. Especially when taking toddler logic into account.

When I was in second grade, I got in trouble for writing an essay declaring that I wanted to be a bond girl when I grew up. I thought it was a fabulous career choice because they wore pretty clothes , drove nice cars and got to smooch Bond. Unfortunately, the nuns and faculty at my Catholic school didn't agree and…

I kind of skipped over a lot of the "cute little kid" stuff and went straight from being a toddler to being cynical and dark. This story exemplifies my point:

For a long time I didn't have much or any hair. Maybe until I was three. But since I was a girl my mom put me in the hand-me-down dresses that my sister has used.

That's actually pretty cute. My parents didn't encourage my creepyness, I was just born that way. They actually told me to tone down my vocab when I started school because they were afraid other kids wouldn't like me.

Oh, I have a few...cause as I kid I was a bit of an asshole.

I was not the cute kid. My sister was. We have SO MUCH dirt on her. She really was very inventive and adorable.

When I was in first or second grade, I was only allowed to ride my bike to the corner and back (we were the second house from the corner, so this was not very far). I negotiated with my mom so that I could go slightly around the corner and turn around on the sidewalk that went up to the neighbor's porch. After like…

When I was about 7 or 8, I started to get jealous of the attention younger, more darling children received. I was way beyond baby-talk age, but every now and again at a family party, surrounded by my little brother and cousins over whom the adults were swooning, I'd lapse into it to try and be noticed.

My sister and I used to memorize Mathnet sketches from Square One TV and force them upon relatives and friends who could not possibly have given less of a shit.

When I was seven, I got a book on how babies are made. It talked about eggs, sperm, fertilization, and prenatal development (but completely left out all mention of sex.) I with my mom at a Korean grocery and stumbled upon the alfafa sprouts at the salad bar. My mom was waiting on line when I gasped shouted clear…

Oh god. I was six or seven when 'Achy Breaky Heart' came out. My grandparents had a camper in a permanent lot on the Ohio River (on the West Virginia side, thank you very much), one of those campgrounds where you leave your camper year-round and can build porches for them if you wish. That summer, the spot next to…

I refused to go into the the dining room as a small Pickles. I thought it was the dying room, as opposed to the living room. I also drink vinegar out of the bottle until I was 7 or 8 and when I tried vodka for the first time was sad it tasted like alcohol.

OMG THIS ALSO HAPPENED! THIS ALSO HAPPENED!

I poop at parties, but people don't know because I close the door.

We've had our share of arguments too, I recall that.

Ugh Texas - in a constant battle with Florida for "Black Sheep State" status (though keep it up, Oklahoma, you may win this one yet!)