I’m guessing everybody already is, but if not, drop everything and head on over to Twitter and drink in the comedy richness that is @nexttokimdavis. I’ve literally been laughing ‘til my sides hurt.

Whoever we get next, we’re going to miss this guy.

My parents took me to the local airport when Nixon touched down in ‘68. I got to shake his hand, and all I remember is that he had really, really bad breath. And that Pat looked sad and maybe just a little be confused.

The first time the now-husband and I were in bed (which, what with us both being guys and all, was in fact also pretty much the night we met, but I digress), he cut the cheese big time. We both laughed, a lot, especially after he looked hopefully at me and said, “Well, at least it wasn’t our first date!” It was dumb…

Having clicked that link - yes, at the office, apparently I’m suicidal about potentially NSFW content - I have discounted there being much interesting data from this study. Bad enough that they were bright blue, but on top of that, these 3D printed things weren’t actually penis models, but rather vaguely phallic…

Exactly. It’s a garment with a purpose, not a freaking lifestyle choice. I’m a boy and so not often in one, but long, long ago I played a proper Victorian lady in a play, and I can tell you that getting my waist down to 24 inches was a major achievement (with alway, in the back of mind, the memory that in Gone With…

I hate the phrase, both because it’s so trendy and because it’s inaccurate. It’s not a mold, people - your waist won’t stay that way. I much prefer the Victorian idiom - “tightlacing.” Sounds much dirtier, no?

Total brolandia, in the brolandiest neighborhood in the entire DC area. I’m only amazed, given this guy, that it’s just a skootch more upmarket than some of its tawdrier competitors in Clarendon.

Dubai. We lived in the region* and so it was more or less the inevitable weekend getaway place - but it never failed to make us vaguely queasy - glittery tat only barely covering the horror of life there for the majority of people who are imported and semi-bonded laborers. Drunken expats thronging Champagne brunches,…

Cradle the butt, man.

Oh, my God - PanAm. Even as it slowly fell apart, it was still a primo airline. I was lucky enough to use their Protocol Department for a year or so (I was PA to a Famous Person), and it was heaven. We’d drive right up to the plane, and then disembark is some foreign capital with the Name’s car waiting planeside. And…

Whenever I see a picture of her, I think “There’s no way that Laraine Newman still looks that good.” Then I realize it’s AK. Although I just went a googled Newman, and she still looks pretty good (if a little plasticky).

Her ex might have been a better bargain, but the alterations required turn out to be extensive...

I once had a colleague who signed every single note she left around the office (and they were legion - from “I’m going for coffee, back in 15” to “STOP EATING MY YOGERT [sic]!!!”) “YSIC,” meaning of course, “Your Sister in Jeebus.” With a little heart over the “i”. And her first name, which started with “T,” was…

What I don’t get is how people could let him put a finger on them, knowing that he was his own idea of what “good work” looks like. I’ve thought about visiting a dermatologist to take care of some sun damage, blotchiness, and a little mid-50s sag, but if I saw him coming through the door, I’d be out of there is a…

It wouldn’t surprise me if they had ten thousand fake accounts all names Tiffany and another ten thousand all named Jasmine...

I was just going to ask if the the rest of the sub-Ed Hardy work visible on his arm was also faked. One can only hope, but I’m guessing in vain.

Ladies and gentlemen - Koko the Wonder Dog! (and while I’m bragging, lots more here...)

I’m glad that someone is finally getting the real truth about “pandas” out there. It’s about time.

Reginald Maudling’s shin.