Jesus Christ, where’s the nope-topus when you need him?

This is great advice: both talking about how we spend money and finding ways to use the fact we do so differently has made a huge difference in our marriage. For the first decade of our now-12-years of marriage, we lived overseas, I had a high-paying job, and he tagged along, taking local employment basically for…

Right? The mention a few posts up of the mango equivalent made my skin crawl for pure hygiene reasons, beyond the idiocy/nastiness factor.

You forgot the adding the pint of cream, stick of butter, and pureed head of roasted garlic that make good asparagus soup one of life’s great gustatory pleasures...

I once had a great dentist with a very sensible attitude toward pain management (I generally require quadrilateral novocaine and gas for a cleaning. I am not a good patient). I came in for a cleaning that I though like to be followed by a filling and was startled when, after I was comfortably in the chair, she…

And with zero marketable skills they’ll get the fun experience of starting at the bottom and making minimum wage, all while having to interact with outside people who hold different (read: frighteningly heathen) points of view and values than they do.

I am disappoint. I read “him doing pushups against BuzzFeed staffers,” and went to watch the video, thinking he would actually be doing the pushups against the staffs - like leaning against them to do standing pushups. This wasn’t nearly as awkward (which, given how awkward it was, really is saying something).

I am honestly way too excited.... I can’t wait for tomorrow night! This could be a fabulous shitshow. I hope someone talks to a chair.

The bottom two will be up for elimination.

Any relation to Minta Durfee, who married Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle? If so, we’re distant cousins by marriage!

I just imagine how I’d feel if I had to wear those buttoned up the neck woolen dresses and I had my period and lived in that house and it was humid and August...

And we had stars! Attached to our avatars. It was glorious.

In her defense, it was an incredibly creepy house - no hallways. Every room opened onto another room. The heat, the lack of privacy, the leftover lamb for lunch... every detail of this story just makes it more macabre.

I had one table ask “what’s the soup of the day” that day, and my response was “DO NOT ORDER THE SOUP OF THE DAY.” They took the hint.

Florence.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - to those of us who lived through the shitshow that was the gaudy, faux-gilded, Spy-covered ‘80s in Manhattan, the great revelation of the vastly entertaining long-form Trump saga is that, of all the Robber Barons and their tawdry ladies who trampled the city and its fading…

Are you sure that what you have are not in fact fish forks? In my experience, the business ends of dessert forks aren’t all that much smaller than their dinner equivalents - it’s usually just the handle that’s a little more delicate. I think you may have fish forks.

Herzog was great, but of them all, I found the snap of Marco Rubio glancing upward as if in search of his hairline both moving and hilarious.

You’re a stronger man than I; I think I would just take the new number. As for phonebooks – gosh. I saw a sad little pile of some in a dark corner of our building’s mailroom last week. Not since the buggy whip has something become so obsolete so fast.

I thought of the one-number-off possibility because my late, sainted mother for many years had the same home phone number as the town hall one community over. She got to the point that she had memorized things like dates of the monthly council meetings, the hours of the notary, and the opening and closing dates of the…