She’s like a walking tumblr post.

I’m wondering if the whole family is shady and cray.

Late to this party, but I feel obliged to say that, so far, this is exponentially the most cogent and pulled-together response to this fabulously bizarre story I’ve seen so far.

I agree totally, but I’m still confused/fascinated with the vision of the Ghost of Librarian Beverly Sills telling me to shush up.

As long as there have been roofs (rooves?), haven’t there pretty much been eaves (and, I’m sure, droppers there from)?

My tackiest-ever wedding experience came from a particularly narcissistic couple of college friends who married pretty much as soon it was possible for two guys to do so in Massachusetts. The invitation that arrived was an enormous thick mini-package that included, in addition to the invitation to the actual ceremony,…

Well, I suppose I’m glad to see that this primal WASP ritual hasn’t totally died. It’s the kind of thing I think gay men could successfully revive, with plentiful helpings of irony, hats, gloves, and Celeste Holm impersonations.

Are you talking about me? I sure fucking hope not, because I lived half my life under the worst Communist regime in the world after North Korea.

Reese Witherspoon confuses me, and from the sound of it, the prospect of this movie just makes me sad. She’s been around as a big name for nearly two decades, and yet her career remains maddeningly inconsistent, as does her persona. Really durable stars tend to have a kind of through-line, something that bring to…

She’s a lightning rod, and frankly not always her own best friend. As for the gray thing, for me I’ve just decided it’s because I’m (shhh!) male. Never mind; Gawker and Defamer (for the moment) love me. And maybe Lifehacker; I can never really remember.

I’m advocating that all people like this are henceforth referred to as So-Called Christians or Self-Proclaimed Christians or even the sarcastic “Christians,” in parentheses.

I’ve run into him a couple of times, ranging from after a lecture maaaaaaany years ago in Philadelphia to a bar in Provincetown a couple of summers ago, and he’s never been anything other than totally great. He’s a rare public person about whom, actually, I’ve never heard - first- and/or reliably second-hand -…

Registries serve a useful purpose, I suppose, and will as long as gifts are an expected part of the wedding-industrial complex. The tradition that seems to have vanished, though, is the solemn Viewing of the Gifts - as late as when my sister married the first time in 1968, my mother set aside a whole room at our house…

She built her brand from the ground up over the course of decades...

In all fairness, Forrest Chump is pretty good.

I’m not a betting man, and frankly the odds on that one seem pretty good. If it does happen, I want a reality show in which Patty Hearst comes out of retirement, joins up with John Waters, and takes her on a road trip to show her everything she’s been missing...

I got a real wake-up call in February, in the form of a minor heart attack, a diagnosis of coronary artery disease, and an immediate quadruple bypass. Nothing like open-heart to tell you it’s time to live better.

I just know he has a basement with half-a-dozen more at home, all in prairie dresses. The whole clan gives me the willies, and I can’t wait until somebody escapes and Tells All.

I’m sure the residual glow of satisfaction at a job well done would carry one well through the resulting spawn’s adolescence...

because that’s what being pro-choice is......no choice.