Seriously. What a bunch of nerdy nerd nerds. The last time they saw a vagina was when they were born. Am I right, fellas?

I’m glad that our immense technical advance over the years has finally lead to a simple way for me to gather men for a wonderful testosterone orchestra. Such exciting times we live in, what.

You may want to edge a bit out of your comfort zone and learn to accept that it’s ok to have a platonic relationship someone. You can’t keep avoiding an uncomfortable situation just because you don’t like it. It’ll start to crush you after awhile. I went through the same crap when I was younger, believe me. Also, the…

While that may be true about a person, I know that you people at Kotaku write articles this way:

It’s not good to believe in the existence of a friend-zone that magically manifests after a period of time. No matter how amazing, charming, and friendly you are, some people just aren’t going to be interested romantically. Don’t let it bug you. Talk with people, make friends, and don’t have some ulterior motive…

Yeah. My crushing social anxiety and self medicating with alcohol has made it difficult for me to find a decent job, too. I must learn this man’s secrets. For now, we can remedy our issues. I’ll be your internet beau and I’ll pretend you’ve given me gainful employment.

It’s because they ordered a Larg-e-soda, and got a Minn-e-soda!!!

She is my new favorite person

The counter top was worthy.

oopsie-daisy

“I have things you want some of”
“I’m upset that they damaged my spaceship”

Getting rejected—even in a video game—can be frustrating in the short term, but it doesn’t have to be a defeat or a personal failing. Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be. Other times, they are meant to be, but in a different form—a less fragile or volatile shape.

Every time I see the word “entitled” or “shame on ____”, I want to enter the matrix and punch the internet in its genitals.

I did localization once. It was just for item and skill descriptions. It took me about an hour, and I got $20. Maybe they shoulda hired MEEEEEEE

Ask politely.

I got stuck in a part of the game (Fallout 2) where you encounter some slavers. I can’t possibly kill them all and free the slaves, so I spent about an hour or two trying to find the most elaborate way to lay explosive traps. They’re charges so I have to set the timer, then lure all the slavers out onto them as they…