To be fair, Jenny McCarthy is also gross.

Weirdly, no one ever divorces for irreconcilable similarities.

also there is no way you could convince me that he wears deoderant

Doesn’t this essentially mean that eggs are chicken periods?

An awful lot of shitty litigation in the US originates in the lack of good health insurance. When people sustain terrible injuries and have no way to pay their medical bills, they get a lawyer and sue the deepest pockets they can find, hoping for a settlement.

Awesome, I had been looking for a kind of financial arrangement that would allow me to trade in one of the few remaining hopes your average person has of building any wealth over the course of their lives.

Apple has finally figured out how to integrate MySpace into their OS. This is breakthrough stuff, folks.

Do you have friends that are not 12, but still dicks? I have like 4 friends that use facebook messenger like it's going out of style, and nobody fucking sends messages, they just send stickers. They're in their early 30s, just like me. I want to murder them all.

Oh please be safe from internet assholes, tiny child....

Apple has harnessed the power and chaos of Kinja!

Yeah, I guess you can make a porno about two men and a baby.

No, that still sounds like porn.

If you tell my mother how to do any of this, I will kill you dead.

I don’t even own an iPhone and I hate you.

oh hell yeah they do.

I’ll bet he made her dress up like Val Kilmer and play volleyball with him and that’s the only way he could maintain an erection.

I would LOVE to read that tell-all. Like you know it has to be batshit. But knowing what Scientologists are capable of doing to people who publicly criticize them... I hope she just stays quiet and hangs out with Suri, content in the knowledge that she's out of that whole crazy mess.

100% why I clicked

I’m relieved that my initial assumption that this had something to do with Ellen Degeneres was wrong.

the man is NON STOP!