my dad watched the second one without seeing the first one and then wanted to know what the hype was about. it was like... well, it cold opens into a world that is barely even explained in the first one, so i can see why it would come across as a bit confusing

he thinks stealth technology literally means invisible to the naked eye. he is that dumb

I’d watch a home alone reboot starring Joey Pants as kevin

that also worked for lana del ray. 

i’m usually a cheap-o, but thanksgiving and christmas are my jam (i love cooking and i host both because its neutral ground where everyone can gather.) Prime rib is actually not super expensive if you keep an eye on it and buy it when its on sale- a lot of places will occasionally throw it on the discount rack

i got a chuckle out of this one- deer season opens on saturday and i’ll be out there.

couple of things-

i would quibble that christmas is a beef holiday (we always splurged for tenderloin, although i now do a prime rib because tenderloin is expensive for what you get in terms of flavor) but i agree on easter.

the other great thing about ham though is how versatile it is- roast a ham and eat it. then eat ham sandwhich’s.…

you cut the turkey into its constituent parts, then roast it (adding white and dark meat at different times to allow them to cook for the proper time) on a wrack over a roasting pan that is full of stuffing. as the juices render from the turkey, they drip onto the stuffing, filling it with delicious turkey flavor.…

the idea that ‘black people’ are a block that ‘did their job’ in an election betrays everything that is wrong with the concept. voting for the designated mainstream democratic candidate in the primaries even if they are obvious bad news just because its what ‘black people do’ is clearly not a recipe for success. 

spoiler alert: he is basically super human. 

so you could go with bernie, who is an old school, marx style, ‘there is no race, its all about the worker’ socialist or you could go with hillary ‘super predators’ clinton. and you chose her. and you got trump. whatever helps you sleep at night i guess

 it worked for lana del rey

hot wings and cheap beer

also the whole ‘the nuke launch systems are not connected to the internet, for reasons that should be obvious.’ 

i live a 5 minute walk from my polling place, i work nights and i have an infant, which the old ladies who work the polls love to dote on. i walk over around 10:30ish AM, there’s no line, the old ladies go nuts for my kid and gush over what a great dad i am, the police officer on duty gushes over my kid and what a…

eh, i sort of wonder about that though- she did tick off the boxes

1. pitched a somewhat risky and specific thing and then fought everyone who suggested it was a bad idea to the hilt
2. subsequently lost a huge amount of money
3. the film was critically savaged
4. badmouthed the studio she had just lost a ton of money for

s…

as a deeply, deeply white person with very little experience the first time i tried a tamale, i ate it whole- wrapper and all. A. you can do that and it wont kill you and B. its not as gross as you would assume but C. its still pretty gross and kind of takes the luster off of them forever, even once you learn how to…

Is she smarter than just about everyone else running? Oh yeah

is she though? her big attempts at policy as first lady didn’t work, she backed a lot of very questionable things that her husband did, her biggest thing as senator was being the biggest democratic cheerleader for invading iraq, and as sec state, her…

well, deer giveth and deer taketh away....... also, sorry about your grandpa, or the deer, whichever you feel worse for

christmas is supposed to be a beef roast- originally a prime rib, but in recent time a tenderloin. easter is the ham holiday here.