Indeed, the perennial right-wing talking point that “an aborted baby could have grown up to be _______, and now that _______ will never exist!” only makes logical sense if you are a total fucking moron.

Spoilers for a century-old book: Most of them won’t.

Nosferatu meets the first part of Jason Takes Manhattan.

Crime has been decreasing noticeably since the 80s, but the problem is that the wealthy elite and politicians NEED crime to siphon power and influence just by pointing a finger and saying, “Look at those criminals! They need to be put in to private prisons! Crime is a business! OUR BUSINESS!”

In my experience, clumps of cells are ill-equipped for most of the tasks required in a 21st century workplace.

Sounds like they will need a REALLY good transporter Chief to pull that off...

They just keep digging. They’re 100 feet down in the hole, and they’re still digging. Fine. All we have to do is keep tossing ‘em more spades.

“I was sitting in my office, listening to Janet Yellen”

Great whatever, just give me wedge in a rogue squadron show already damn it.

“What they did today was equivalent, at least equivalent, maybe worse depending on how you look at it, to doing an insurrection in the State Capitol,” Sexton said on the House floor.

Star Wars is an ever-growing universe...

It is about creating dank whataboutisms as fast as possible.

Trump used the interview to humiliate Carlson by letting him get at most three sentences in the whole time and went on whimsical tangents

“This is one of the many issues I think are best left up to elected officials at the state level, and it should not be adjudicated in the court,” she said.

I agree. HOW DARE THEY.

What! Only a passing mention for Jimmy James. 

Kevin Feige: “Thank you for agreeing to be in our movie, Mr. Ford. Now your character, previously played by the late William Hurt, has a mustache. So how long do you think it will take you to grow a must...”

They called him a billionaire? With the hard “r”?

Yeah, that was my guess before I read the article: the secret ingredient is dog hair.  

“...cede all land from the Western lava flats to Bulloch Canyon” was a very, very nice tribute to the 1st (live action) on-screen Mandalorian.