When you say BASIC do you mean something like:
10 DickJokes = 5000
20 FOR A=1 to DickJokes
30 PRINT "Character makes unfunny joke"
40 NEXT
50 PRINT Credits

Alex Trebek: "No, the right question was, 'What are Roy Rogers french fries?' Roy Rogers fries. Less than a minute to go. Pick another category."

I just assume that adult Lindsey Lohan talks in nothing but that loud, raspy stupor they give her in Robot Chicken.

I swear at first glance I thought the article's title was "50 Cent says the Golden Girls can suck a dick".

There's one song for me where I vividly remember where I was and what I felt when I heard it for the first time: "Strawberry Letter 23" by The Brothers Johnson. I was driving home at night from college and I heard this song. It was cool, and interesting, and smooth. I hadn't heard anything like it and was instantly…

It just makes that episode where Peggy, Minh, and Dale invest in whatever Bill is interested in even creepier.

I never understood why they decided the port for a very good medieval football arcade game needed Jerry F'n Glanville shoehorned in it.

My friend and I got so good at goaltending in Blades of Steel that the only way either of us could get a goal was passing it in.

It was either that or go the opposite way of putting women on a "pedal stool".

Fall in love (assuming she gets lost between the moon and New York City).

Would it solve two of Beckham's problems for the upcoming season by having Lena Dunham plug up the Giants' offensive line?

I love that Better Off Dead named their teen villain Roy Stalin.

He's one of those guys where his character is about 20 times better than the antagonists so he's kind of a boring invincible hero. Sure, Jackie Chan's characters can take on five guys, but it's by the skin of his teeth, with a few shots to the body, and with a lot of ingenuity and luck.

It's a general thing, but I haaaate any color commentator who in giving his "keys to the game" includes such amazing insights like keeping a certain player from scoring points, play solid defense all game, or being "consistent" on offense. Your an analyst. Analyze! Say how they can overcome a stout defense or how…

I'm a Devils fan and even I think "Matteu! Matteu!" was a great call.

Who am I supposed to believe, you or Johnny from Police Squad?

And "Newhart".

It's the Dennis Green review (RIP).

So this isn't a documentary about the band UFO?

I don't mind the mashing of tropes, except it feels like it's only about that moment where the character realizes it's for real and not a ploy by the producers. Once that happens the part regarding the reality show would seem to be an afterthought and it would become no different than most other plague stories.