hang on. They're going to phase out writing on cups altogether? Like, I can no longer experience the unfathomable joy of unblinkingly convincing an unfamilar barrista that my name is Sonny and my colleague is called Cher? I now have even less satisfaction when someone else takes my drink and starts complaining that it…

This is a little off-topic, but... I had a friend who showed up to my father's funeral wearing jeans and work boots. Because that's what he wears for his job. He took his lunch break two hours early so he could come and pay his respects and I thought it was lovely. He made an effort to be there for my family and we…

LOL, Big Heff is a paragon of how to treat women. Jesus Christ.

More important things... yikes. Gives you a pretty good idea of what he thinks about women, right?

"I love the man. I support you, Bill. We're praying for you... aren't there more important things to talk about in this world?"

Yes, the whole "Where's the proof?" Umm..... it's in the incredibly similar accusations that have been made for years and years that corroborate one another. Can those people not fucking read or think critically?

Notice how there's no Applebee's logo visible while Mike talks his utter nonsense.

Your Server Was Rob.

"Failure is not getting knocked down. It's not getting up."

How about the fans who gave him a standing ovation:

Because we make jokes in the comments section every day about these same topics; Deadspin as an entity is the interplay between the bloggers and the readers/commentors. Ipso facto, Deadspin talking about how it is inappropriate to crack wise on the subject while we actively crack wise is ironic.

What is the school doing to rectumfy the situation?

The handrail in the elevator has also expressed regret for its involvement.

Ravens PR guy: "I liked Ray Rice a lot then. I like Ray Rice a lot today"

"Her life could and probably will be drastically impacted because one stupid incident."

Look, in all honesty, this is a stupid story.

I'm going to let you guys all in on a secret: You have showered with a gay man before. Maybe not an openly gay man, but definitely, you have been naked in the shower with a man who is attracted to men. Maybe it was in gym class, maybe it was the local Fitness Edge, or maybe it is at the stadium where you are a…