Leave it to a Memphis to have no witty headline writers.

It’s not a game.

This is going to turn up on Forensic Files in 20 years.

Started the article and pulled the ripcord during the first sentence. I just cannot get through Billy’s stuff, and I’ve read Infinite Jest.*

Next time, not a single fucking period; really fuck with them

Jesus fuck that was painful to read...

The Cubs are now just another team that vomited on itself like a thousand others, and their fans have no more conversation starters at the bar like, “My great-grandfather saw the Cubs win in 1908, and I’m afraid my kid will never know that moment.” What they used to hear is feigned sympathy; now they will get, “I’m a…

Correction: Cubs FANS never really cared about winning or even baseball. They’re just fans of themselves being Cubs fans. .

It would be one thing if there were any other sports to truly care about in Chicago, but I’m pretty all the other major pro teams are, or are going to be, butt. Red Sox fans are fans now, but when the swoon comes in September, they just pull the old “Homer into the bushes” thing, disappearing as a Sox fan and…

“Flatlanders?”

+1 shoving a bratwurst & cheese curds down said throat

Cubs never really cared about winning or even baseball. They’re just fans of themselves being Cubs fans. .

“ In exchange for a parade in 2016 that everyone not a White Sox fan loved and will cherish for eternity.”

For 5, maybe 6 innings, maybe.

Then the Nats bullpen takes over and the Brewers feast like John Pinette at the Chinese Buffet. YOU BEEN HERE FOUR HOWAH! YOU TAKE YOUR 14 RUNS AND FINISH SEVENTH INNING!!!

In exchange for a parade in 2016 that everyone not a White Sox fan loved

now they take it worse than INXS fans

At major racetracks the horses live better lives than the people who are caring for them.

Ray, I think you’re missing this a bit. The Cubs didn’t choke a whole lot in the past because they just sucked. They weren’t usually good enough to choke.

“...and then three at St. Louis in front of the one fanbase that can make Cubs fans cry...”

They came for the dog fighting, and I didn’t speak up.