Well you see that’s the difference between you and the really successful writers, once you start telling your editors they’re simply idiots and misunderstood what you wrote, you’ll skyrocket straight to the top! Promotion after promotion until you’re writing incomprehensible op-eds in the Washington Post arguing for…

If he keeps firing people like this he’s not going to have anyone to talk to and I don’t think he’s thought that through 

Horse conditioner? On my hair? I vote Neigh.

Sir, this is a Wendy’s drive-thru.

On a barely related note, Trump as Queen Elizabeth is my favorite thing

White Sox Owner to GM: We must be rid of the white walkers

I’m sure this all can be explained by an episode of Fresh Prince from 1995

What an idiot. Dude leaves the Bulls and then wants beef.

To be fair, those stigmata wounds in his hands open easily.

It’s not surprising to find that none of the dishes include chocolate. It makes him throw up.

What kind of name is Brien?

“Melania knows that I call my daughter my girlfriend. That’s what I was talking about. I don’t have a girlfriend,” he said.

The Jackson 5. BOOM!

Summary: “The blacks love me.”

Weird, he looked skinny already, can’t understand why a pitcher like that would need Colón surgery.

"There's been a lot of talk this week. A lot of gum-flapping and Twitter tough guys talking 'bout class. Talking 'bout class is pointless. That there ain't no reason for football players to come class. Lotta loose lips and slick talk saying what we do HERE ain't got nothing to with FOOTBALL. And I gotta say, that…