@CassandraSays: Excellent.

Call me crazy, but I find the flame a lot sexier than the ciggarette - meaning, the action of striking a match, or the way my ex girlfriend would snap open a zippo. I still smoke ciggarettes/cigars, even though I know I shouldn't for my health, but I find nothing in the tobacco smoke/smell/taste/aftertaste sexually…

@LadyChatterley: You are so right.

@moshee: First off, there's no shame, no shame at all, in waiting till you're ready. So no biggie. Phew! :)

@ning! has a bump named Julia: "The blue ones make his junk taste like blueberries." - Juno

Online dating for me nearly always ends the same way in-person dating goes for me: Pick up line, short introductions, I mention I'm transgendered, goodbye. :(

@boring diatribes: It is hard to find nerdy guys who don't try to move things to sex in the first email, but then again, that's pretty much all guys. I'm not a chubby chic but I loves 'em just the same! On my dating profile it reads "Hit me up anytime - I love the areodynamically curvaceous!" :)

Just for the record, here's Tim! Julia done well.

Courtney, please shut your Hole.

@bebedamour: Thank you, I *almost* did!

Danny DeVito should cast Dr. Laura on Its Always Sunny in Philidelphia. She's so bat-shit crazy she'd fit right in, no script neccecary. And all Dr. Laura's fans would see her for the crazy sham she really is.

Yes. Well, personally, I believe in sandwitches. *NOM NOM NOM*

Good for you for publishing the letter.

"The Mortgage."

Aquariums are so relaxing. I wonder if the fish inside feel trapped though. Those seem big enough, but wild fish enjoy much larger habitats.

But... that can't be! I can block it with my thumb!

@LordObento: Yes, but that's no moon.

@bobbobato: Istanbul was Constantinople - but now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople. It's been a long time gone, Constantinople. Why did Constantinople get the works?

"We’re so self-important. So self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. What? Are these fucking people kidding me? Save the planet, we don’t even know how to take care of ourselves…

I'm always amazed some people keep piranha's as pets. Keep 'em in the movies where they belong!