Pilot here. Can confirm lowness of runways.

skimming the beach on their ultra-low takeoffs and landings

Athletics =/= sports.

“This year starts ... in Düsseldorf, then moves south through Luxembourg and Belgium before rolling into France early next week.”

There’s really nothing remarkable here. Lots of athletes take time out of their schedule to visit retarded children.

I heard that Robert Mueller’s tie is longer and redder than Donny’s, AND he uses more tape to secure the short end than anyone around.

I heard that the Secret Service allowed Mueller into the Oval Office one night when no one was around, and he rubbed his junk all over everytrhing.

I heard Barron Trump calls Robert Mueller “Papa Bob.” People are saying this.

*Looks at headline*

I think the reason why people only care about feel good stories about running is because no one cares about running. Like, at all.

Really GRINDS MY GEARS!

Lelisa Desisa, Eliud Kipchoge, Zersenay Tadese, and an army of pacers will take a little over 17.5 laps around the Autodromo Nazionale Formula One race track in Monza, Italy

“I think our side’s been proven very strongly”

I need a moment to compose myself so I can give a proper response to this...

I think this is pretty spot-on and is something I’ve been saying to folks for years now. It really hit home to me in the closing weeks of the 2012 election during the peak of the “unskew the polls” phenomenon. The rubes were eating this shit up as usual, but then it became obvious that plenty of actual power players…

And what if - hear me out here - you had also just saved 15% or more on your car insurance?! Imagine the possibilities.

Wait, you managed to tie “pyramid schemes” and “male privilege” together?

I just got a nice pair of silicone-tipped kitchen tongs, and now I use them to do relatively mundane shit in the kitchen like turn roasting broccoli, stir stewed kale—stuff like that. But it makes me feel like a goddamn Iron Chef. If someone had told me this simple utensil would have made feel so Godlike in the…

Let’s not throw stones. Who among us hasn’t overcooked it in that exact tunnel multiple times?