I went out with Conor Oberst a couple of times. The sex was meh, but I broke it off when he came over to my parents’ house for dinner and pretended like he didn’t know what a potato was. It was obvious to everyone that it was just a shitty joke that he refused to abandon, and my dad eventually kicked him out. I mean,…

I can't believe you actually fell for ol' fluoride treatment gag. On the plus side, now you know semen gives you a stomach ache.

Taylor skips Reddit and goes straight to 4chan \b\

I would say the tone of your post says everything you need to know about why people won't date you.

Some of your problems might be because you assume that women date so they can find someone to 'provide' for them.

"mentally stable and good providers": That IS the superficial bullshit dude. Being economically unstable might be a deal breaker. But having a great career won't get you a date. Because that's just surface stuff. You need to actually be an attractive person. (And I'm not talking about looks.)

I may be making assumptions here, but "accomplished professional" and "good providers" kind of read that you expect women to be impressed by the amount of money you earn, which is just as shallow as being impressed by your looks. If that's not your intent, you might ask a friend for an honest opinion about whether you…

I mean this in all sincerity, and maybe you've already tried this. Why not ask an ugly, successful woman out?

You're not intellectually elitist- you're completely correct. I've recently heard the same bs from dumbasses regarding the oil worker strike (over & done, a few days ago). It was limited in scope by our union, so it wasn't a total shitstorm, but people who resent what we already get paid said we should be happy for…

You assume that McDonald's mustard is actually mustard, not some kind of industrial spackle that may have a secondary use as burn treatment.

Don't forget the condescending nature of that idea, which is that people who aren't poly are either in denial or less "evolved."

It's very nice that you found an environment in which you are happy, but I do wish people would stop deferring to evolution every single time. The people who write books and push the idea that humans "evolved" or "didn't evolve" to be monogamous or play football or drive a Toyota Cressida do so with very flimsy…

Yeah but then some bastards with a time machine from Mesopotamia went and nicked it.

No. Excruciating *life* was introduced via St. Louis.

Yes, at the 1904 Worlds Fair regular death was accidentally dropped in a deep fryer...voila, St. Louis-style Excruciating Death!

They may not have introduced it but they did *perfect* it, which is better in a way!

I am not interested in seeing Cthulhu's baby pictures.

My family and I moved to St. Louis when my dad got a different job and the first night we moved in, we ordered Imo's pizza which is the go to place for "St. Louis style pizza." Imagine eating really sweet tomato sauce on a cracker with plastic glue cheese melted on top and you have St. Louis pizza. Our first…

Why is this gazpacho bread-bowl sliced up?