I’d say “Keep your chin up, Joe” but that may be impossible

It’s okay, I went out on three dates with a Jewish girl last month, so I’m fairly certain I’m covered under the Tim Whatley exception.

So all they did was move the guy to another section? Couldn’t they have come up with more of a final solution?

Racism? At an Indians game?

its Lupus

*puts up the U*

Are those dog names or the street names of the cocaine they were snorting?

I thought you were a marine biologist!

Work fridge. A wretched hive of scum and mold-ery. I have a lunch bag, you freeze it so the cold pack in the walls of the carrier stays cool for hours and I don’t have to open that fridge. Last time I cleaned the it out of several ancient food items and got yapped at because a large yogurt container taking up room…

What is with these Patriot TEs always hanging around at the wrong time?

Rumor has it the cheerleaders were also part of a pyramid scheme.

Get me a pineapple Italian ice.

Nice block, Midler.

The catcher with the “Hey ump...what the shit...he threw the bat” and the Ump with the “Have a better pitcher” nod of the head may be better than the bat flip.

Finally, a drug czar who knows where the drugs are.

You’re renting your TV from a different Aaron.

When I was growing up, we called a comment like yours a “Higgins,” because I grew up with a guy named Higgins who had a habit of repeating someone else’s joke with different words, making it a worse joke.

I’ve heard that getting hit in the helmet can really mess with your Schwartz.

Trump: “Ore... Ida?”
Aide: No, sir. It’s “Ne-VA-da”.