Nope. Rationalizing blackmail isn’t the answer. You can be a victim of domestic violence AND an asshole. They’re not mutually exclusive.

“Now don’t get me wrong, there are very good people on both sides.”

Why the fuck does her friend think she’d profit from the sex-tape too?

“If only stodgy NFL coaches could be more like Klopp.”

It was, but the edit just pushed the joke too far. Win some, lose some.

You want to hear about the gap in affordable housing between the veterans and rookies dorm facilities?

What’s worse is that the Jaguars are considering selecting Florida International stand-out QB Blonk Burfles in next year’s draft. If unavailable Montana St.’s Brapp Binkles comes to mind.

On this pass from constantly underperforming QB Blake Bortles

This is dumb. They weren’t even in the same room as Elway.

Only because they had spent the last 3-4 years in a system where the latter occurs

[Announces a safety can cover the field and make picks]

If HBO’s Confederate becomes a hit, we’re definitely getting a CBS comedy where Kevin James plays a slave auctioneer who keeps getting distracted from his job by pie.

This is about as appropriate as Home Depot’s September 11th sale on box cutters.

The auctioneer looks like he should be starring in a shitty CBS sitcom where he’s married to an impossibly hot wife.

[Announces a RB can read the defense]

He’s already waited too long, and all his hope is gone.

When you say it’s going to happen now, well when exactly do you mean?

Quinn picked it up at The Smiths’ yard sale this off-season...

At the insistence of his editor, the author ruefully removed the following sentence: “Glumly peering into their half-filled bowls of Lucky Charms, each morning, the downtrodden people of Dublin fill their thermoses full of whisky and stagger down to the pub, where they dance jigs and fight each other as the jukebox…

If there was a coach who was brilliant enough to get players like Kyrgios and Monfils to play to their full potential, their time would be better spent doing something slightly easier, like bringing peace to the Middle East.