Transwoman here trying to get in early before there are too many comments on it.

Ashley I’m very glad you’re here

I can’t wait to see the photo of Pence eating a taco bowl in the Trump Tower lobby.

she’s a fun “kewl girl” on the outside but the price she pays is that she’s dead on the inside

When did he learn to read?

Ileana Lochte: “Honey don’t you think you should make a statement about what occurred in Brazil?”

We are not giving those men at that disgusting “website” our hard-earned traffic created by our male servant Bobby Finger

Totally unrelated, I just remembered that five years ago I wrote a term paper in grad school about Jezebel and I got like a C on it.

Well researched. Well written. If your out of the job next week you should send this to Algaezeera. They’d love it.

Yup! 19/35 is a whole lot different than say 29/45. Really that whole “half your age +7 rule” is pretty spot on.

Sure, there may be some errors, but you still what he’s trying to say.

They’ll be good enough to not get the high draft picks they need to rebuild, then Kelly will waste their future picks trading for someone like RG III.

His tinder profile is Tim Jomsula

“Ho boy, if this doesn’t pan out, I don’t know what I’m gonna do. Library won’t let me use their computers anymore on a counta me tryin to sleep on the couches”

It is my understanding that York replaced the locker room vending machines that were free with ones that cost money. Not much else needs to be said.

If by "loaded up", you mean "tried a bunch of random PIN code combinations on his Tracfone", then yes, yes he did.

Jed York: Guys, it’s not working out with the coach who lived in a dumpster.

Tomsula loaded up his phone with extra minutes today so he could read and laugh at this.

Those emails are exactly the level of quality I would expect from a guy who writes a bunch of Bleacher Reports.