I’m gonna agree with Charlotte from Sex and the City, here. Elizabeth Taylor.

I am a sick fucker, and I am loving this mess of a season. I cannot wait to watch Vampire Chloe Sevigny.

I’d have loved if OP just silently picked up the mashed potatoes with her hand and put them back on the plate.

My manager finally comes over and informs me that she is removing the gratuity from the bill.

I think it is less about the fart and more about the theatrics surrounding the fart.

oh honey, no.

I think something can be anti-Catholic Church without being anti-Catholic people.

The solution is to cut out I-III. We don’t need to know how he became Darth Vader, because anything awesome we imagine is going to be disappointing compared to the reality. In the case of the prequels, it’s VERY disappointing.

“Dip” to me implies cheese or sour cream (optionally + flavorings, in either).

“So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.”

I feel empathy for people I don’t know all the time. That’s as it should be.

It was nice of you to provide a genuine answer to an undoubtedly judgmental question.

Because divorce is stressful and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone if there was a good way around it. Besides, I admire his work and corporeal beauty and, based off his tweets, he and his wife seem nice. Nice people whom I admire bring out my sympathy. And also my marriage is my most important relationship in my life, so…

Ok, so I work in insurance because I’m the devil, and I guarantee she’s suing so the kid’s family’s insurance will pay her medical bills. That is the only way she’ll get paid. Home or renters policies typically have low medical payment limits ($1,000 - $10,000) that will be paid regardless of liability, but to tap…

As much as part of me wants to say (screw’em and throw away the key) another part of me starts to realize that this is wading into some very murky waters. Are we going to prosecute every mom who has a premie and freaks out, suffers a panic attack and doesn’t get her kid to the hospital? While this case seems cut and…

They’re a master class in how to subvert one’s celebrity and get taken seriously for making clothes when one is famous for acting.

It’s rude to tell me how to eat my pizza.

Fuck it, I don’t want a mouth full of grease/oil. That’s why I blot that bad boy, not because I want to delude myself into beleiving I’m some how saving myself calories.

WHEN will Kate Winslet and Leo DiCaprio realize that their relationships don’t work out because they just need to get together, already

Stop sending ambiguous signals like being nice. It’s cruel to lead men on. But also don’t be mean, because then you’re a bitch and deserve what you get. Note that “being mean” includes remaining emotionally neutral, you frigid slut.