Death, you moon-faced assassin of joy. :(

I think whoever decides not to play is the winner.

Take it from someone who ate at the Air and Space cafeteria when they were managing it themselves: McDonald's is a huge improvement. I'm still not convinced that burger wasn't some kind of alien life form.

You'd think they'd start by trying to make beer water ice.

Oh, yeah, I remember that one. I don't care if their ice cream is made with golden eggs and frozen water from the fountain of youth and puts Proust's madeleines to shame in its power to transcend. I ain't eating at a place that thought that ad was a good idea.

You sure she didn't get the bag mixed up with the potpourri?

To be fair, most things on Chopped that involve the ice cream machine result in elimination.

But…but they're white!

He actually told that damn parable (well, the version with the scorpion) about Hillary during the campaign. I kept screaming "projection!" at my monitor every time it came up.

This feels like a page from some future history about the great dynastic Supermarket Wars.

Here kids, have a Bible. No violence or fornication in there, no sirree!

I'll admit, I laughed at the "round up the Nazis" one.

The longer I live here, the more I feel like I'm breaking some kind of unwritten rule by not having been there yet.

And in a lot of cases, one side doesn't consider it to their advantage to seat people who are going to think too hard.

If all it took were the jury declaring, "Welp, we're deadlocked," you'd have mistrials in every case that takes more than a couple of hours to deliberate because people just wanted the damn thing to end.

Double ugh.

Giant mutant gerbils increasingly strike me as the solution to everything.

Williams was capable of quieter work, though. I think he'd have been a good Riddler.

It would've made sense, though.

Dammit, now I want to see David Tennant's take on the Joker. He'd probably be good at it.