I can't remember whether the books back me up on this, but I have the distinct impression Trillian left because she got tired of the guys and their nonsense. I can't really fault her for that.

So how come when I order extra, they just give me the dinky button kind?

Counterpoint: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Of course, that one never really got around to answering what the question was, so…

"This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays."

You might be that rare person who likes the fifth Hitchhiker book best, though I don't think it's worth going through the rest of them to get there.

They were called "royals." At least, the whole thing was amusing until they drafted you into their wars.

At this point, nobody really knows whether he's still involved or decided to commit himself to sports blogs and movie theatre management full-time.

Wow. That might be a little too sadistic even for GRRM.

Nope, sorry. If it's a death associated with this canon, it needs to be far more painful.

Jesus set you up!

Hopefully that Kathy Griffin photoshoot goes better.

It's never really explained. The first chapter is basically an elaborate, Stephensonian way of saying "Okay, the premise here is the moon's exploded. Just go with it. Also, if you can roll with the idea we'd be able to accomplish anything besides sheer panic, that'd be great."

Ugh, my brain just automatically corrected that to "provolone wit." Next thing I know, I'll be trying to defend throwing stuff at Santa Claus.

I think you're giving him way too much credit for putting any thought into this whatsoever.

Wow. That's much nicer than the Philly adoption ceremony. Although I think the catering's better.

Silly Donnie. Everyone knows you go with Peoria if you want to make a point about ordinary folks.

Ironically, the scientists' original goal was curing caffeine addiction.

The twist is that they're all really named Martha.

There are people who seriously blame Obama for Hurricane Sandy.

But they still can't stay here if immigration doesn't provide a clear and simple path for them to get jobs, never mind starting their own companies.