I assure you I was chilled when I typed this, and also in a hurry since I was at my restaurant. I apologize if the ice water in my veins didn’t come across. ;)

You all can mock DQ all you like, but I had to get my food handling license renewed and I was in the class next to the local DQ owner, and they have some A+++ cleaning & food handling standards. They aint playin.’

Don’t judge how we choose to get through this national seemingly never ending dark night of the soul.

I am always surprised that Oprah doesn’t get more attention for being beautiful. I imagine she does all sorts of stuff it’s better not to know about to maintain, but I honestly think she’s radiant.

Peele has said that he was most inspired by movies like The Stepford Wives and Rosemary’s Baby, horror films that doubled as pieces of social commentary and have gone on to infiltrate the zeitgeist.

Follow Your Arrow is fun to sing at karaoke.

Oh, here’s a tip. If you are one guy at a table of guys, if you leave your number, specify which one you are.

Any time someone is obligated to be nice to you while on the clock, and part of their pay is contingent on being nice, you have the power. I think you should be careful with how you behave, having the power.

All I know is I once saw an obese man attack another man with the CNN logo for a head. It was very traumatic.

Well-behaved cartoon girls rarely make history.

It’s weird when someone doesn’t get they’re the punchline.

I’m not sure if the narrator could have sounded less like she gave a fuck. :)

As mentioned elsewhere, my library system just got in “God and Donald Trump.” I wonder if there was any confusion over who should get first billing.

Cats and paella, huh?

“Racism is bad, and I’m not bad, so I’m not a racist. The reason I think _____s are ______ is just science.”

I’ve been liberal all my life, but I’ve used books to expand my horizons. I think I used to be just a little more advanced than your father, only when it came to trans people. I felt people should be able to live their lives, I understood it all logically, but there was just something at my secret core that said I…

My library system — I borrow digitally — just received a non-satirical book about Donald Trump and his relationship with God. The description describes him as (this has to be almost exactly right) a loyal father and family man. Not only was I annoyed to see this purchase, but I am annoyed that it was suggested to me…

Ah, these fucks.