Yep. I can't hate. I'm wearing a $90 skirt on a $10/hour wage. If I had her job, I'd own this skirt in every color. If I made that much money, I'd have a couple fur coats and a Furla bag in every color.

He always said they were, but I think there's been some long-running speculation that they share absolutely zero DNA with Michael.

I know it was said in jest, but perhaps Ms. Moore was onto something when she said new parents weren't allowed on Google+. I'd like to keep it that way. Facebook is already the Baby Pics Emporium.

I agree with your second paragraph. I relish being tall. I think it makes people listen to me more readily, I think it lends me some authority or credibility or respect that short women sometimes have trouble commanding in professional settings, I think most of my sex appeal comes from my long legs, and I have never…

"I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS!"

More room for piercings, I suppose!

Downside: eight nipples.

There is no "other side" to be argued. The author isn't saying that breastfeeding is bad, she's saying that it's hard. And it is. I've never ever met a mother who hasn't had some difficulty getting the hang of it. Even those whose babies figure out how to latch on pretty quickly find themselves frustrated with…

Aaaahhhhh, got it. Kind of like when I come across an old deck of nudie cards and think "This is how dudes got their pornography back then?!"

I vehemently disagree with the last sentence of your post, Dodai. Porn runs the internet and has been either the cause of or the largest benefitter from improved technology for things like streaming video and online payment systems (it's kind of a chicken-egg question (did porn drive the upgrades and innovation, or…

Giuliana Rancic sometimes sleeps with guys on the second date?! I sometimes sleep with guys on the second date! Stars: Just Like Us!

No shit. Every place that has shopping will, at some point during the day, potentially have kids in or around it. Occasionally, I would be out with the little boy I nannied. Say we saw a drunk person. "He sick?" "He might be!" A condom on the ground "What's that?" "Garbage. Don't touch it." A store window with…

No shit. I had to get my fake titties the old fashioned way: insurance fraud!

Another good one is to keep a dampened but wringed-out hand towel in the freezer until it's stiff. When you're feeling hot, run it under cold water until it's soft enough to be pliable, then put it over your head (over a sink). The cold water on your neck and cold air vapors around your face are excellent. Repeat…

I'm a Minnesotan and I enjoy the heat too. Everyone's griping, whereas I've already come to terms with the fact that I'm going to be sweaty so I'm able to enjoy that thick air balmy feeling and soak up all the sunshine I can in hopes of storing some for the winter.

It's funny that you call it "hippie lettuce," because my friend's code word for it was "salad" (as in, "Would you like to have some salad before we go to the concert?").

This is cool as shit. I have a friend-of-friend who works at an upscale department store. She was telling me about a day she was helping a tall, well-dressed woman who appeared to be in her late 50s or early 60s. The woman took off her expensive tailored blazer to reveal old school style tattoos on both arms.

Good for you. Kids shouldn't be encouraged to swear, nor should they swear at each other. I firmly believe, however, that they need to know how and when to swear. I feel like I curse creatively and to good effect, and that it improves what I'm saying rather than detracts from it. I hope any of my offspring will be…

Hey man, blame Dick Clark ("The World's Oldest Teenager").

I love David Attenborough too!