This kitty likes to knock the bowl that holds my hair ties off the end table. Her reasoning. These are toys....I must play with them!!!

OMG...my cat does this too! What makes a Fitbit so tasty?

I am totally convinced that my cat does certain cat-like destructive things to help me adult better. Leave towels on the floor? She pees on them. Haven’t changed the sheets in a while? Better barf all over them. And Adele help us all if I forget to leave her food in the morning. “MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW YOU…

ok but what about when a cat sits on you when you’re sleeping and wakes you up

Glasses. The quickness with which they are dumped rises proportional to how full they are and how big of a mess the liquid inside will make. I’ve NEVER drunk wine out of a proper glass at home since I got my female kitty. That would be asking for it. We drink water out of insulated tumblers with straws. Sigh.

So, the idea is that cats don’t love destruction for the sake of destruction. They are just honing their torture skills for whenever they get the chance to seize a prey.

My cat destroys things out of spite. He want something, and if he doesn’t get it his first move is to punish me by destroying something. It’s not toying with something, it’s wanton destruction. He’ll rip up papers, chew through earbud cords, or put bite marks on a phone or computer. This only happens when he’s…

Ok, but:

she may actually do it on purpose to get your attention,

Her poking paw would send it scurrying, giving her a good game (and possibly a good lunch).

My cat enjoys pulling my headphones out of my purse/gym bag, chewing them just a bit, and then pushing them back into the bag.

Can we get some investigative reporting on why my dog is obsessed with trying to eat my fitbit off my wrist?

A three legged dog walks into a bar and says

In Alconleigh’s Cat news, she has been dragging all her toy mice to her food bowl every morning and it’s adorable/kind of pathetic.

Next you’re going to tell me that you don’t show your butthole to strangers by way of introduction? I’m incredulous.

My roommate in college got pissed at me once because I used her room as a temporary time-out room for my cat who was only about six months old at the time. Sure, it was a dick move (borne out of frustration and convenience), but I think she learned the most important lesson of them all—never leave a glass of liquid…

When I’m having a shitty day, this gif plays on a loop in my head. Rock on, cat who gives no fucks.

What, you guys don’t just randomly push things off of flat surfaces for no apparent reasons? I suppose you don’t rub your head and face over stuff and then claim it to be yours either. Weirdos.

Pill bottles. My cat zeros in on the pill bottles. A rattling bottle of ibuprofen will get my hungover ass out of bed and over to the cat food station every time.