You got to peg your man, AND you got a in a good core workout?

I'd rather have a few be reached than none at all.

Here's the ad I would make: Go to a sport museum and have the director of the museum give a small speech about the accomplishments of a player of historical importance. Then show the same director turn around and take down his portrait. Then have him turn back to the camera and say something to the effect of, "We are…

I think this commercial had great potential. The first time I heard it, it was emotionally jarring once I figured out what was going on. I have nothing but great things to say about that woman's bravery and ingenuity and the operator's willingness to listen and figure out a way to send help. That was all excellent.…

This ad isn't for you.

Can he just be dropped off somewhere in Iraq and have ISIS take care of him?

That's enough internet for today. I'm out. Good bye y'all, I'll remember you all in therapy.

Gah I almost don't want to know because I think he's so adorable, but what did Martin Freeman do wrong?

So, you're saying that he doesn't look exzachly the same?

Also, I heard that usual tipping etiquette requires that you calculate the tip based on the UNDISCOUNTED fee while using a coupon, which means that server missed out on a significant part of the day's income.

The "dances like he's been hit with nerve gas" line is not only the best description of Chris Martin I've ever heard, but probably the best description ever, period. May I steal it?

I am a person who sometimes gets horny and has casual sex with people who are not strangers per se, but whom I've only known for an hour or two. They have to be intelligent, respectful, and willing to meet me in public. I have other requirements, but they are not the fun kind of details that you're trying to tease out…

I hope you improved his car with 200$ worth of eggs and toilet paper.

I actually winced when I read that last sentence.

Just for you, Jerry: the crazy Brazilian who snuck back into my room while I was sleeping (2 hours after I sent him home), the teacher fetishist, the guy with the tail, the guy who refused to talk to me in high school, annnnnnnd my second cousin. Just for starters and because you asked nicely :)

Gif game ON FLEEK. LMFAO.

Ramen Noodle Truck Stop man was (as I mentioned) another blind date set up by my mom. My mom who neglected to mention he was a truck driver (a noble profession, and I'm not saying I wouldn't date a truck driver), and he neglected to mention it when he called and invited me over to his place. The time he gave in the…

A bit of background: my mom worked in an office setting where clients would come to sit at her desk while they worked out details for jobs. She kept a photo of me on her disk, and occasionally women of a certain age would notice, and inevitably I would get a call from her saying she gave my number to some guy's…

Went out with this guy for a couple of dates, and when he invited me to his apartment for beers after dinner, well, I was game.

Sigh. The first time I attempted anal he assumed liquid dial would work just as well as lube. *SPOILER ALERT*