Holy shit, no-erection, sock hog-tying guy sounds like a genuine lunatic. I can't even process your story right now but, yes, you definitely deserved to win that pissing contest.

Ohhhh, damn! Ding-ding-ding!

Oh, dear. That SOB needs to be punished.

This. I'm cringing, uncontrollably.

I need to understand what you're posting on craigslist. Are you into anonymous/stranger sex or are you a sex worker? If you're a sex worker, I need to know exactly what kind. Also, a link to your awkward sex article, would be helpful. I feel like I'm sending a work email but it's really all about the details, amirite?

I totally feel her pain. Orgams are the best remedy, in MY life, for exhaustion, stress, insomnia, headache, anxiety, depression, etc. Basically, an orgasm can make anything better and I NEED them to function. I've been on and off anti-depressants and anti-anxiety my whole life and now on forced birth control for a…

I want to order one for all my friends!

DB's a lot like my big toe. I wanna bang him on every piece of furniture in my house.

Sweet, sweet baby Jeebus. I'm clearly ovulating because I've been a hot, hot, melty thighed mess all day but when I saw these gifs I was reminded that Posh has repeatedly said "it's like a tractor pipe". Ahem. ~breaks into sweat~

I am "blessed" with a stupidly thick head of hair and it's long. I really am grateful when I think of the alternative. However, it can take longer than 24 hours to air dry or an hour to blow-dry sooo once I finally get it styled, I'm not trying to wash it again any time soon. Wash my hair twice a week; body, every…

*to *exception

I got the copper one and it hurt so damn bad being inserted, I was sweating, seeing spots and banging my hand on the wall trying not too scream. They didn't give me anything to soften my cervix though which would have been a nice freaking option. THEN, a year and a half later, the string went bye-bye and the IUD…

But she wasn't an asshole, she was clearly just lacking knowledge. Aren't those YOUR rules?

This gif had me laughing so hard.

Texan by birth, here: I'm 99% sure Texas wasn't googling James Avery, the recently passed actor, but James Avery, the expensive, Christian jewelry maker. It seems Estately got it wrong. Trust me on this one; Texans buy it by the arcload.

Rinse the tweezers off, man! Use a tissue, perhaps? I know everything I need to know about this dude and why he had a 9 ft. ingrown hair carving a hole in his face. The hygiene issues are strong with this one. ~dry heaves~

Unnnnn, yes-uh!

My then 3 year old, upon awaking early from a nap started turning the handle of our locked bedroom door and said: Daddy, are you hurting Mama?

Ick, on the T-day/Black Friday shopping. I love regular shopping, don't get me wrong. My husband was a retail manager the first 8 years of our relationship. His stories would make you worry for mankind! Working nights, weekends, every imaginable holiday, with 3 kids under the age of 6, at home, at one point. Haha! He…

Your response alone takes some of the pain away. Thank you. ♡♡♡