*angrish sputtering* "It's...it's...as if I am living inside a BLOODY MARGARET ATWOOD NOVEL."

Heh. Unwanted threesome with that one other wolf. You can almost hear the female saying, "Dude, YOU MIND? BACK THE FUCK UP."

What killed me was the announcer describing "penis captivus" as some kind of spell out of Harry Potter.

That may very well be true, but YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY THOSE RIBLETS OUT OF MY COLD, DEAD HANDS.

What does the wolf say?

PEOPLE...if "crappy accent" is your ONLY evidence of a terrible performance, then Christian Bale SUCKED IN THIS MOVIE.

TOTALLY.

That was awesome, thanks. And to the anti-vaxxers, we all say:

Umm...the only thing that comes to mind is, "Uncle Julian this is Vince Gilligan. Vince, this is Julian Fellowes. Alright you two, I'm gonna lock both of you up in this room and not let you out until you've successfully bred your two shows together."

Oui, ce mot anglais sonne comme le mot "maman."

Link to watch on Colbert Nation.

Off I go to write some slashfic about Neville Longbottom and the Billionaire...

Fair enough.

"Oh Grannie, it's simply not FAIR. Why must Mary go one step above me ALWAYS? I become the editrix of a posh society magazine, and she becomes a police constable detective in America! IT SIMPLY ISN'T FAIR!"

Oh dear GAWD, the attachment parenting folks.

No silly. She means mummy as in "what snobby English children call their mothers."

and also...

A good friend of mine is as "granola" as they come (vegan, gluten free, grows his own veggies, etc.), and he's the father of kindergardener, but he is definitely not anti-science. Far from it. In fact, he posted this recently on his Facebook page to warn fellow parents about the dangers of not vaccinating their…

Pfft, if we're shooting for accuracy, then Liverpool should change its name to "Kings Landing" for a week, because that's where Kings Landing would actually be.

I'm paraphrasing a bit, but as the saying goes, "Never underestimate a woman with a french manicure and a law degree." To the bad ass solicitors, barristers, and jurists who have come before me, I salute you: