I mean, in regards to my writing and academics, I try not to give a fuck if I’m likable and say what I feel needs to be said, and stand up for myself because if someone doesn’t like after that, do I really WANT them to?

I hear you! growing up in a developing country in a rural area but being “a natural feminist” (meaning nobody taught me feminism, I was just a feminist because it was the natural thing for me to be) I was always told that I was mouthy and complained too much and said “incendiary” and “radical” things. All those people…

aww yeah I needed to hear this today. Yesterday one of my work friends said that my former manager told him he didn’t like me because I was “mouthy and complained too much.” I was all mopey about it but FUCK THAT SHIT, I complain about things that need to be fixed. I state my opinions during GROUP MEETINGS. I also…

Too much of women’s time is devoted to this projected ideal of ‘nice’. What does that even mean? Considerate? Subservient? Kind? Why aren’t men required to be this thing? Who gets to decide what is likable anyway. The Likable Committee? We should be ourselves.

This is such a better message than Shonda Rhimes saying ‘yes’. I think learning to say no and not needing to make other people happy is an important skill many of us could benefit from.

Just affirmation that I’ve been doing it right for years! I long ago decided that it’s impossible to stay absolutely true to myself while being likable by everyone, all the time, in every possible situation. Nope. Maybe only unicorns like me some time but I’m absolutely fine with that. Add to that the stereotype that…

Hells, yes. But she leaves out the best bit.

I have accepted that it is impossible to make people like you, as some of them will just hate you on sight and nothing to be done about it. What works for me is being approachable.

A lot of comments are agreeing/disagreeing with her likability statement, which is fine (and I agree with her 100%), but I’m really feeling her last point. Worrying about being likable ruins your own story. I have spent so much time and energy fretting about whether or not dates, friends, bosses, and strangers like…

You are not alone, my friend.

More than once I have discovered that friends’ boyfriends didn’t really like me, or at least didn’t get me, until they were around me when I was drunk!

You fucked up because I like you now.

Oh, baby voices are nails on the chalk board. I do feel sorry for someone that repressed though. The one person I know that genuinely does get along with everyone is profoundly boring, but I don’t hate her...so yeah, I guess I get along with her too.

Riiiight? Immediate side-eye. That means you’re a people-pleaser. A coworker is like this. Talks in a baby voice and just wants everyone to like her. Except she’s a mean drunk and will tell you what she really thinks when she's a few cocktails deep. It’s hilarious/sad.

My FRIENDS joke that I make a great 34th impression and I tend to agree. I have a lot of friends and people in my life that are insanely loyal to me and love me very much but the bottom line is, I’m kind of a hard sell in the beginning. People I just meet forget my name or people I’ve met once or twice (or four times)…

I am not, nor have I even been likable.

I need to upload every speech she’s ever given to my iPhone and then listen to it on perpetual loop. I aspire to gain even one-quarter of her confidence and self-awareness. Thank you, ma’am, for the inspiration.

God, yes. It’s so deeply ingrained to be likeable and inoffensive, that second-guessing is second nature for women. I try to actively go with my first thought/instinct and just put myself out there. It’s such a tough thing to do and sometimes my brain gets the best of me and I mentally beat myself up for being…

Agreed. Whenever I meet a person who insists they get along with everyone, I’m like...nope. Nope. NOPE.