Finished your workout before 8:00 am? Girl please. Call me when you are showered and on the road by 6:45 am.

Don't believe the hype: much like the awful pizza, "dibs" is something many, many of us native Chicagoans detest and fight back against at every opportunity.

in re: requested memo-

I just ate an entire box of crackers and an entire wedge of brie. It's going to be a long evening.

LOOK AT THIS CUTE FUCKING BABY I MADE.

You guys! I'm freaking out, I have my first English as a Second Language class EVER on monday. I'm a teacher guys, a High School English teacher. *dies*

Just to touch on the subject of "men don't understand rape"... I've been thinking lately that they really don't, on a physical level.

Dislocated my jaw by yawning.

I yawned my face off.

Obligatory Jackal Video:

I want to be invited to your party, Allison Janney!!! Pick me, pick me!!!

Today was my first normal Saturday after leaving my abusive and controlling husband. It's been a little over a week since I left....and I feel absolutely amazing. I have no regrets and this feeling of freedom is incredible! I'm free! I'm free! I can do what I want without feeling like I am walking on eggshells…

ALWAYS be nice to the custodians. The ones I've worked with have been good people and it comes back to you.

I'm glad you came back! I knew it would be something crazy.

Not the worst thing I've ever done, but certainly one of the worst. Two years ago my long distance boyfriend (now husband) came to visit me in Birmingham, AL. We got a fancy room at the Marriott and headed to a World of Beer for NYE at 8 pm in the busy 5 Points area. Evidently they had a cash cover, so we walked a…

Your doing the Lord's work, Sister Crosley. Well done.

I'm pretty OK with it ending, I love Parks and Rec, and I will miss it dearly, but it hurts my heart when good shows turn into mediocre shows because they stay on the air too long (ahem, The Office).

Althea/Chibbs (and really all of Althea in general) would be much more believable if they'd spent more than a cumulative 4.3 minutes of screen time establishing this new and allegedly important character. She's just a cardboard cutout who recites Sheriffy Lines and is female because somebody decided it was time Chibbs…

Yes! I hope Ross puts her feet up and really enjoys not working on her days off, because she's crazy busy the rest of the time. That lady's got more work than she has days to do it in! Must be exhausting, eh?

I like to think of myself as an anti-racist white person who is reasonably thoughtful and aware of issues around racial justice and these images have still brought it home to me on a really emotional level that each one of these people could be targeted by the police just the same way any of the less-familiar faces…

I'm an atheist and we do Christmas like crazy. We have one of those elves everyone hates. We chop down a tree. We bake. We make a figgy pudding. My house looks like a Christmas decoration department exploded in it. We have Christmas music on all day long. I. Love. Christmas.