Mr. Beer and I spent the day decorating for Xmas, which we do every few years. We even got a tree yesterday.

It is 3:59 pm PST. Do I know where my boyfriend is? Yes, he is sitting in his underwear playing the WoWs while we continue to have the same conversation we have been having since 12:35 pm:

I wrote a novel for November because it is national novel writing month. I was able to finish it on Thanksgiving. Now I just got to edit it. :)

Honestly, if I had 6 children I might be tempted to run away to Australia too. Especially if they had lice, and too much home work, and runny noses and they left legos all over the floor, and I tripod and banged my leg on one of their bikes, and they put gum in my hair and they kept singing Katy Perry songs even…

those kids missed a serious opportunity to live out the boxcar children dreams of my youth.

I'm glad Snooki finally nabbed her Juicehead Gorilla and I'm glad that Vinny was not in attendance. He ended up being such a fucking dickhead - particularly to Shnickas - and she handled it so well.

I gotta say, props to Snooki for not turning into a train wreck. She got a lot of shit for being an out of control mess when she was younger, and she is still an insatiable attention whore, but she looks like a good mom with a good partner. Her show with J Woww is so unbelievably boring because they are now just…

If we called it Fantasy Wedding and had leagues and teams, maybe it would go over better.

I frequent the Pittsburgh Port Authority and feel like I've met your now deceased grandfather on several occasions.

The drink baby passed out in mashed potatoes took this story to another level...Bravo.

Folding chair sex alone seems pretty bad. You tipped the scales with the "Mormon" bit.

This actually looks really good and it's a great cast, will see.

They are the only couple in the world that could wear matching Christmas sweaters and not make me nauseous. Dammit they're so charming.

This is fucking disgusting, and the prosecutor doesn't seem to understand that his continuing to talk IS NOT HELPFUL.

Has she read The Giver? Every kid should read that book.

Am I the only person left who genuinely likes and prefers the missionary position?

And while you're at it, send some money to the Center for Reproductive Rights. They are the non-profit legal organization that fights most of these cases in court.

If there is no Ninja Warrior competition in the next pageant, someone needs to be fired from something.

I need to know why the Chicago dog is heading an article on things customers aren't supposed to eat. Because I will defend the Chicago dog as long as I live/can haunt the earth with my spirit.

I was a ditzy junior high schooler. They talked to us about internet safety and "kiddie porn" and the cop noticed I was confused and asked if I had a question. I said "How do they get the cats to do that?" I like to think I've learned a lot since then :/