The answer to all of these is “don’t.”

A couple of years back, JR West in Japan did a study on drunken passengers falling into the tracks and decided to re-orient (pun not intended) the seats so they would be perpendicular to the tracks.

Hot Topic is more Punk Rock than voting Republican.

I more expected Jimmy Dean to petition Merriam-Webster to change the definition of meat.

Don’t you mean salmnon?

Not to trash it or anything, but this looks almost like what a Lincoln version of the Mustang would be. If the guys at Ford were like we need to take the Mustang and make it a bit more luxurious.  It’s all I can see when I look at it.  My brain knows this is a BMW 8 series, but it keeps trying to say there is…

Nobody has ever gone broke betting on the bigotry of white people. 

Agreed. They almost inevitably have one or more of: shitty flash intros, sporadically broken menu navigation, unnecessarily slow transitions, a horriffically outdated menu, etc.

“A passive crotch restraint system” would also be useful in the entertainment industry, the Oval Office, and the Supreme Court’s chambers.

Strawberry syrup is for your regular pancakes because fake maple syrup is sad and awful.

I’ve got another data point, I think it’s really important to the discussion: eat shit and die, Ajit Pai

Arby’s sandwiches are people

*is decking his halls most righteous*

Slab of American cheese, a la Waffle House, or GTFO.  Fight me.  

“Help! My server speaks like a millennial nitwit.”

Police sketch of New Zealand’s most wanted basket thief:

Too bad the TX Attorney General is unfamiliar with the law, then?

I was fully expecting this article to be about how the European Union just passed a new law regulating the size of french fries.  

Kanye West tweeted his endorsement of Brett Kavanaugh; tweeting 

Yeah, another in a very long series called “White America."