This is what happens when Trump is elected. Under Clinton I was promised an authentic taco truck on every corner.

I’ll never sleep normal again. I’m worried about my future, worried about my kids. Worried about their safety.

That was cool, Cory. I guess folks can now start calling you Cool Cory...

GOOD. Red Delicious are not delicious and are, in fact, mealy, bland trash. Give me a nice, crunchy, tart Macintosh any day instead.

They should celebrate their 10-year anniversary in line for his & her coronary bypasses.

No, it was all clearly only spent on Hotdog Combos. $7,333 of them, to be exact.

Ladies and gentlemen....the whitest person on the Internet.

Lay flat on a lasagna pan...set oven to 400 degrees...drain excess fat periodically...cook for 20-25 minutes until desired crispiness is reached...

I think all highschools should have gender neutral classes that teach basic life skills including cooking, financial budgeting, and basic DIY repair and maintenance.   Basically, a modern version of Home Ec and Shop Class that everyone attends.

Nikki, can you hook me up with tickets and other swag?

I award you zero stars for the use of “catsup”

Used VAG product. Automatic CP.

Bullshit. Banning fast food in Cafeterias does NOTHING to improve the Cafeteria. It just gives them less competition.

Totally classist. A school by me insisted that parents who packed lunches not include any pre-packaged items, like chips, cookies, Uncrustables, juice boxes, applesauce, etc, and that the should include mostly ‘fresh’ items.

Yep.  This 100%.

“This is the photo of Aretha Franklin and Pattie Labelle we intended to publish”

There is no way that either of the people in that story was wearing less than two scarves. 

They also haven’t tasted them, for a much simpler reason: “It smells so terrible,”

Don’t be like that. We’ve been doing satire hip hop forever. Happy Hump(ty) Day. :-)

Fox News is going to reference this until the end of time.